


Black Sunshine

by TimeTest



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Bullying, Cute, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Sad, Separation Anxiety, Separations, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-10-28 00:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10820253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeTest/pseuds/TimeTest
Summary: "Hi, my name is Castiel. My parents own a restaurant chain, so we move around a lot. "  He delivered the same boring line to the same boring, repetitive towns.Boring up until he met Dean Winchester.Can they save themselves from their own fates?





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel awoke to his obnoxious alarm blasting in his ear. He slid his hand out of the blankets and felt his way to the button to turn it off. He groaned and rolled onto his stomach, pulling his pillow over his head. It was the first day at his new school. His parents travelled a lot, opening and running their successful business chain of restaurants and getting them on their feet, before moving to the next location. He hated moving. He couldn't remember his friends names anymore, not that he made many.

He turned his head and glanced at his night stand. In amongst the freshly unpacked clutter, in a frame next to his alarm sat a photo of someone he did remember. Her name was Anna. He smiled at the photo of them. She was hugging him tightly around his waist and he had his arm around her shoulders. Her fire red hair framed her face. She was beautiful. He turned his attention to himself. He had shorter hair then. Other than that, he looked like the same boring nobody he'd always been. He wished he could go back. He ruffled his hair and stepped out of the comfort of his bed, wobbling on his tired legs.

After a quick shower, he pulled on some jeans and buttoned up a black shirt, aiming to be as plain as possible to not draw attention to himself. He combed his hair as upwards neatly as he could, smiling in the mirror to himself as his dark brown hair spiked naturally at the tips. He slung his leather bag over his shoulder and made his way down stairs to grab breakfast.  
His parents had already left for work. They always left earlier when they were starting up in a new place. He made himself up a plate of eggs on toast and a cup of tea. He ate slowly, flipping through a news paper. The local news had always interested him. A park had been sectioned off due to a murder investigation. "Great," Cas groaned.

He folded the newspaper, pushing it across the elegantly set table, being careful to not knock over the moss green candle that stood as a centrepiece. He stood from his seat and rinsed off his plate, leaving it in the sink. Turning to the counter, he sighed. His mom had packed his lunch already. He'd told her not to bother with how much work she had already. But that was his mom. Always putting him first. He slid on a black double breasted coat, shivering as the satin lining came in contact with his skin. A cold ache at first, but it warmed up quickly. He took his time to align the buttons on it before he opened the front door.

Fog rolled out of his mouth as he walked to school. It was the beginning of winter. The snow hadn't started to fall yet, but it was still freezing cold. He loved cold weather; being hot was uncomfortable. He hated the feeling of his clothes sticking to his skin. He preferred layers and heaters, to fans and shorts. He kicked the stones off of the path as he walked, smiling in satisfaction at the clacking noise as they fell.  
It was convenient living the next street down from the school. He liked the independence of it all- walking himself instead of being driven. He'd even got to enrol himself without his mother hanging off of his shoulders like a hawk. He turned the corner and the school came into view. His stomach twisted lightly as he eyed off the plain building. Basketball courts, car parks, flags. Yep. Just another school.  
There had been plenty of different new school scenarios that he had gone through. He hoped this was one of the good ones.

 

He trudged into the classroom behind the vice principal, who was eager to palm him off as soon as she could, "Class, you have a new student joining you today," she backed out around him, "Meet Castiel," she glanced down at him, nodding, "if you need anything, be sure to let your teacher know. Enjoy your new school, Castiel!"

Cas nodded at the woman, eyeing her curly blond hair as it bounced around her face. "Thank you," he turned to the room full of students, 'Hello,' Cas bowed his head in a quiet embarrassment as he looked around the classroom. He had a few glares, a few blank stares, but most of the students were talking loudly amongst themselves about.. either sport or an upcoming test. He couldn't quite pick it up.

The teacher pushed his glasses impatiently up his nose, "Please take a seat,"  
Cas pulled a chair out, cringing as it squeaked over the sickly blue lino floor.

 

The classes before lunch break went alright. No one really talked to him at all. He sighed with relief as he entered the school yard. He didn't mind being alone. It was easier to leave when the time came. He sat up against a wall just outside the grounds and pulled out a sandwich, breaking pieces off and shoving them into his mouth.

"Hey," Cas turned his body toward the voice. "this is our spot, move your ass," the voice belonged to a big guy with an unlit cigarette hanging from his lip. He stood over Cas, casting a shadow as he glowered down menacingly. He was accompanied by a few others, all setting their eyes on him.

"Uh..," Cas uncrossed his legs as he started to stand, "It's my first day," it appeared as though he found the 'bad' group of the school. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid; Big greasy sweaty kids with something to prove.

The big guy lit his cigarette and breathed it into Cas' face, who in turn closed his eyes and held his breath, "you oughta be more careful where you choose to sit,"

Cas waved his hand in front of his face, fanning the smoke away, "or what, you'll sit on me?" he snorted, unable to help himself. He hated people like this guy. Trying to make others intimidated and scared into folding underneath them. People like this guy were the real cowards.

His friend chuckled behind them.

Dirk blinked, breaking his tough character in surprise at Cas' unafraid answer, "The fuck did you just say to me?" Dirk gripped onto Cas' shirt and shoved him up against the wall, pushing the breath out of Cas' chest in a huff.  
He held the lit end of his smoke toward Cas' face, "You wanna repeat yourself, you little creep?"  
Cas held his arm up in defence, squinting slightly as he prepared for the painful burn that edged closer to his forearm.

"Let him go, tubby," a guy appeared from around the corner. He looked really intimidating. He had a brown leather jacket on, combat boots, and some worn in jeans. His eyes were a vivid green, illuminating in the patches of sunlight that shone through the clouds. Dirk turned his head, glaring at the interruption. The new guy stepped in close to them and lowered his voice, "I'm not kidding, Dirk. Drop the kid or I'll drop you,"

Dirk gave Cas one last hard shove against the wall and released his shirt, "this isn't finished," he called over his shoulder as he walked back toward his friends, "you got lucky this time, new kid,"

Cas rolled his eyes as he adjusted his shirt. He turned with utter confusion toward his new friend, who stepped toward Dirk and his friends, "I'll tell you now, this _is_ finished," he pointed his finger at them in a lecturing manner, "If I catch you near him again, you're all fucking dead." ..Who the hell was this guy? Where did he come from? No one in all of the schools that Cas had ever been to had stepped in for him like this. Why now? Cas was instantly shamefully attracted to him. 

Dirk and his friends turned their backs and walked back to the school yard.

"Uh," Cas started, bowing his head as he caught the guy's attention, "thanks for that.. I think," Cas slung his bag over his shoulder, ignoring the clink of the buckles as they slapped against the metal of his belt. He held out his hand, "my name's Castiel,"

He took Cas' hand, shaking it once before releasing it, "Dean, don't mention it," he dug around in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He held it toward Cas, who waved his hand in polite decline. He shrugged his shoulders and sparked one up, inhaling deeply.  
They stood in silence for a moment before he spoke again, "You're new here, I haven't seen you around," his eyes flashed inquisitively, causing Cas break eye contact once more. His face flushed a light pink as his shy side crept out further. The confidence spilling out from this guy was almost too much for him.

"Um," Cas shifted on his feet, taking a moment to gather his words, "it's my first day," was all he could come up with

Dean scoffed, breathing smoke out of his nose, "You chose the worst school in town to come to," he leant up against the wall, flicking the ashes to the ground, "it's not too late to leave,"

Cas found his eyes raking over Dean's body, checking him out. He quickly shook his head, hoping Dean didn't notice, "Mm, Nah," he rolled his shoulders, playing it cool, "I kind of like it here. It's close to home, and it's been a good first day," he crossed his arms over his chest, feeling the cool wind pick up.

A good day? Dean raised an eyebrow, "Dude, you're weird.."

Cas lowered his head and smiled ruefully. His poor choice of words were killing this conversation. He hadn't prepared for this scenario. This wasn't in his list of first days. This was different. His eyes caught the last spiral of Dean's cigarette ash before it faltered on the air and fell into the ground, "Yeah I guess I am."

"There's nothing wrong with weird, Castiel. It's an attractive quality." Dean kicked his boot into the chunk of cement at his feet and flicked his smoke away. Cas bit hard at his lip in a poor attempt to keep a straight face as Dean pronounced his name. There was a lot of emphasis on the 'a', that Cas had never heard before. It was the cutest thing he'd ever- He fluttered his eyes back into the moment as Dean asked another question, "How old are you?"

"I- I'm 17,"

"Ha, me too. What class do you have now?" He watched Cas stop to dig around in his bag for his timetable. He smirked at his disorganisation.

"Err.." his eyes scanned over the crumpled paper that threatened to blow out of his hands, "History now."

"Ah, me too.." Dean started to walk back with him, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "I was gonna skip it."

"Was?"

"Well, I should get to know you better," Dean pulled at the door and held it open for Cas, "I can't think of a better way than going to a class or two with you,"

"You _should_ get to know me?" Cas blurted, stopping in his tracks for a moment,

Dean shrugged, "I should get to know you," he repeated innocently.

Cas walked by him, turning his head away from Dean's gaze to hide a smile. He'd never met someone who made him feel like this before. He was incredibly attractive. He had a gravitational pull. Or maybe it was just a pull over Cas.. Whatever it was.. It was strange. It was trouble.

The teacher looked up from his papers as they entered the room, "Dean Winchester.. You finally made it. Take a seat."  
Dean scoffed at the statement, leaning forward as he held a seat out for his new friend.

They sat next to each other through class. Cas would catch Dean looking at him out of the corner of his eye and when he turned to face him, Dean would smile, not bothering to pretend he wasn't staring.  
Dean relaxed his knee, allowing it to rest against the outside of Cas' thigh. Cas glanced down at the heat against his leg. Whether Dean knew if he was touching him or not, Cas didn't care. He just didn't want it to end. 

~

 

At the end of the day, Cas walked out of school beaming. He really had a great first day. He had started on the path home, when he saw Dirk and his friends making their way over to him. He stopped walking and glared at them. There was no way he was going to lead them back to his house.  
There had to be something he could say to get them to fuck off. - _Fuck off_.. But without confrontation.. Cas stood staring at them. He was going to have to defuse this somehow.

They stopped walking toward him and turned the other way. 

Cas smiled to himself. Just like that.. This _was_ a great day.

Those idiots.. Not so tough after all.

A hand came down on his shoulder, causing him to jump from the sudden intrusion.

"Hey," Dean winked, raising his hand as he noticed Cas' flinch, "sorry about that,"

Cas pulled away from Dean and faced him, furrowing his brow, "Why are they so afraid of you?"

Dean's smile grew, "You'll still talk to me after I tell you?"

Cas frowned, "On second thought, it doesn't matter." he turned and continued walking up the path.

"Hey," Dean took a few quick steps and caught up to him, "They were picking on my kid brother, so I put them in the hospital, that's all."

Cas stalled in his steps. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? _that's all_? "that seems a bit extreme.."

"No,"

Dean stopped walking, causing Cas to turn back, "They didn't stop, and it got bad. He stopped wanting to go to school, the teachers weren't doing shit.. So I took care of it. They got what they deserved.." his fingers curled in his fists, "People like Dirk shouldn't be near people like you or Sammy. People like Dirk- They're sadistic. The only thing they care about is hurting people that are better than them."

Cas stared at Dean's brooding face. He kicked himself on the inside. He didn't mean to offend him. He must really look out for his brother.. "Sammy?"

Dean's face lifted to something quieter, "Yeah, he's the smartest kid I know.. You don't understand what it was like to see that gift go to waste over people like Dirk. Dirk is going to be stuck in this damn town forever. My brother is going to be someone great, and that jerk got in the way. But- My dad and I are saving to get him into a good college- that's why Sammy's stuck at this dead end school.. But you should meet him sometime, I think you guys would get along,"

Cas smiled thoughtfully. Dean was protecting Cas like he protected his brother. He must see some kind of similar trait that he and Dean's brother share. "Sure, I'd love to," he turned slightly, "But for now, I should probably get going,"

"Alright," Dean pulled out a smoke and sparked it, glancing slyly over his shoulder at Dirk's group- still lingering and ready to follow Cas once he had taken off. "I'll walk you home."

Cas stalled for a moment, remembering that his parents were working late tonight, "Okay- but I've still got to unpack my stuff, so it's a bit bare- and Um, I- I'm sorry about the mess in advance, okay?"

Dean chuckled, smoke rolling out of his mouth, "It's cool. I don't judge. But.. wait.. Why'd you move here?"

"Family restaurant business," Cas turned up his street, "What do your parents do?"

Dean dawdled behind, "My mom is dead, and my dad's a mechanic."

"Oh.. I'm really sorry," Cas stopped and took a hold of Dean's arm, squeezing it gently, "losing family is horrible."

Dean raised an eyebrow, shaking Castiel's hand off of himself as he continued up the street, "It happened so long ago, I don't really remember," he took a drag of his smoke, eyeing the big yellow 'SOLD' sign, "this yours?"

They stopped at one of the biggest houses on the block. It was as tall as it was wide, with a fantastic garden out the front. The whole property was surrounded by professionally trimmed hedges and lattice full of rose bushes. Dean flicked his cigarette at a light post as they walked around the back to the gate. Cas reached over the wooden palings to open it, revealing a large swimming pool and another huge garden. Dean walked through it all with his mouth hanging open. He'd never seen anything as fancy as this. How rich was this kid? He had everything, and they weren't even in the house yet.

Cas pulled a key out of his pocket and slid open the back door, frowning as he was more aware than ever of the mess around him.  
Dean stepped in after Cas. The things that were unpacked looked amazing. Like a museum, or fancy hotel. The tiles on the floor were bright white, perfectly matching the white couches to his left. There was fresh yellow flowers in a vase above the fireplace, and candles on the giant wooden dining table.  
Even as he pulled at the packing tape that stuck to the bottom of his boot, the house still made him feel dirty and unwelcome. It was too good for him.

"Come on," Cas smiled warmly at him, sensing his discomfort. They stomped up the hard wood stairs and onto the landing. Another huge room. The house went on for ages. He could get lost in it. Dean followed Cas down the hall to the right and into his room. It was a big area as well. There was another small hallway in Cas' room that led to his own bathroom. Dean dropped his leather jacket to the floor and looked around.  
The carpet under his boots was soft. He sunk into it with every step. The walls were a pale brown with white strategically placed brush strokes.  
He picked up the picture of Cas and Anna from the night stand, studying it before holding it to Cas, "Girlfriend?"

"Oh.. No, just a girl I knew," Cas took the photo from Dean and carefully placed it back on the stand, holding his hands out ready to grab it if it fell.

"Why not?" Dean flopped down on Cas' bed and tucked his arms behind his head, playfully.

"I don't know.." Cas rubbed at his arm awkwardly, "It just didn't work out."

"Why?" Dean pressed.

Cas clenched his teeth as he slid his coat off of his arms. He hung his coat on the rack next to his dresser before he picked Dean's coat up off of the floor to hang it as well. He turned, glaring at the messy boy on his bed. What was with the interrogation? He stepped up onto his bed and sat down, crossing his legs, "I don't know, Dean."

"You like girls, right?" Dean smiled at him, enjoying the rise he was getting,

Cas paused. The question caught him off guard, "of course I do, why, don't you?" he responded irritably,

Dean snorted, "They wish.." the bed springs creaked as he stretched out, allowing his shirt to ride up over his hips before turning to his side, "I mean, I like some, but I prefer dudes.."

He licked his lips and allowed his eyes to sweep over Cas shamelessly. He grinned at Cas' reaction. Poor Cas had a bad poker face. He was nodding and pressing his lips together, shifting uncomfortably and not making eye contact with him- and _desperately_ averting his eyes from Dean's exposed hip. "Do you like guys, Cas?"

Cas swallowed audibly, glancing once more at Dean, "I've only told a few people.. But half of them weren't happy with it.. It's not something that I really like to talk about, you know?" he confessed, tightening his hand into a fist and digging his blunt nails into his palm. The skin on his fingertips pressed into his nails. "And I haven't, -I haven't really done anything before. With a guy." 

Dean grabbed at Cas' hand, noticing the minor pain that he was inflicting upon himself. He could tell Cas was nervous. It was like he was building himself up for an emotional roller coaster. He smirked at Cas' reddening face as he rolled his fingers in the palm of his hand. Cas' hands were smooth against his rough skin. "I like you," he said suddenly. His smirk grew into a wide smile, "We should get together," he threw his feelings out there. If it's true that Cas travelled a lot, he wanted to make a move before it was too late. Cas was exactly the type of person Dean was attracted to. He was fixated.

Cas' eyes widened. "What?" he blurted,  
He looked down at Dean's coy face.  
Was this really happening..?  
He'd never had anyone pursue him before..  
Certainly no one as gorgeous as Dean.  
And wow, Dean was gorgeous.  
How could someone like Dean even look twice at someone like him?  
This was crazy. Was this some kind of joke?  
What if Dean and Dirk and the others were all friends, and this was some kind of trick..  
Idiot..  
This had to be a trick.  
Cas pulled his hand away.

"Cas?" concern swept over Dean's features, "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah.." he shook his head, "yeah, I'm fine."

"Liar." Dean sat up on his elbow, "What's wrong?"

"Why do you want me, of all the better people you could have." he lowered his head. He directed the question toward Dean, but didn't entirely expect him to answer. It was an open question.. Why.. Why would anyone even bother with him again.  
He blinked once, setting his eyes back on Dean. 

Dean cleared his throat and blinked away. Cas had a very intimidating stare. It was probably due to how intense the conversation was getting. "Better?" Dean snickered, still avoiding Cas' gaze in an attempt to relax the situation again, "You do go to our school, right?" Dean grabbed at Cas' hand and leant in closer, smiling softly down at him, "I want you, Cas- why is that so hard for you to get?,"

"I, uh" Cas laughed at himself. "I've been let down pretty hard,"

"Oh."

Cas' heart jumped into his throat. He quickly composed himself, "But who says I want you as well?"

Dean's mouth dropped open, "What?"

"I mean, it's a nice gesture, but we just met.." Cas continued as he pulled away from Dean once more. He tugged at a pulled thread in the middle of his bed cover with his thumb and index, "I mean, you don't know me. You don't know the kind of person I am. As soon as we get to know each other, you could realise that you hate me. Or more likely- I'll have to move again. It's happened before. It's too much of a risk. I can't hold a relationship. I'm boring, I'm a wimp. I-"

Dean leant forward and cupped Cas' cheek in his hand, tearing his deep blue eyes off of the bed, "You're too hard on yourself, you know that, right?"

Cas held his breath, resting his eyes on Dean's lips.

Their faces were inches away from each other, Dean's mouth was parted, breathing harder than usual. He pressed his forehead into Cas', "give me a chance," he whispered lightly, "-If you like me, just give me a chance, okay?"

Cas closed his eyes and nodded against Dean's forehead, smiling at the mischievous tone in Dean's voice. He turned his head to the side lightly, brushing his nose against Dean's.  
Dean's lips ghosted along his. He moved his hand from Cas' cheek, up through the back of his hair, pulling him into a soft kiss.  
Cas tensed up. His hands grabbed at the air for a second, before resting them lightly on Dean's ribs. He opened his legs, allowing Dean to crawl on top of him, sliding his hands along Dean's waist and up the sides of his shirt. His skin was soft and warm, his muscles stretched in his grip as he moved against him. Their tongues tangled together with more enthusiasm.  
Cas broke the kiss, panting heavily into Dean's mouth, "Oh, god,"  
"Mm," Dean agreed as he grinded against him. His free hand found it's way under Cas' shirt. His thumb circled his hip, making Cas writhe underneath him. Their legs intertwined as they found each other's lips again, kissing a little slower- finding their flow.

A door opened and closed down stairs. 

Cas gasped into Dean's mouth, 

"Fuck,"

he pushed at Dean's chest, 

"My parents are home,"

Dean leant back onto his knees, exposing the bulge in his pants. Cas paused at the sight, feeling his face grow hot as he blushed. He shook his head, finding it difficult to tare his eyes away from the sight, scrambling out from underneath him, "I'm sorry- You're going to have to leave-"

Dean nodded and stood from the bed, taking his jacket that Cas handed to him, "Which way do I go?"

Cas ran a shaky hand through his hair, "I have no idea.. I thought they were going to be home late.. I mean, I didn't exactly plan this-"

Dean pulled him into a kiss, hushing him as he pulled his arm through a sleeve, "Hey- It's fine." Cas closed his eyes and smiled, forgetting the situation for a moment longer.

"Castiel," A woman's voice came from the bottom of the stairs causing Cas to break away from Dean once more. 

Cas looked back at Dean with desperation streaming through his face, "hide!"

Dean opened the window and stepped onto the ledge, "See you tomorrow, Cas,"

"Stop, it's the second floor!-" Cas hissed, half following him out the window.

His mother walked into his room, "Castiel?"

Cas bashed his head on the windowsill. His hands shot up to his head as he turned, rubbing at the newly forming bump, "Hey, mom.."

"What on earth are you up to in here?"

Cas' eyes darted around the room, "I was just airing out my room, it's been closed up all day and it's all stuffy."

"Alright.. Well, dinner will be along shortly."

"Okay, mom." he waited for her to leave, before turning back to the window..

"Did you have a good first day?" she popped her head back around the corner of his room, making him jump and knock his head again. He groaned and held it tightly. She suppressed a smile, "..We'll talk later, son.."

Cas rolled his eyes and flopped onto his bed. His mind was racing.. Did that just happen..? He cracked a smile and folded his arms across his stomach.  
He told himself he wouldn't have another relationship- not before college. Not after the messy break up with.. Anna. He glanced at her picture. He didn't blame her for pushing him away. They didn't work out. That happens..  
But Dean was something else. Dean was so different.  
It was a good thing.

~

 

Dean slid off of the edge of the balcony, clinging onto the gutter and dropping to the ground. He slid through a gap in the hedge and walked to the road. He re-arranged himself and buttoned his jacked up, just to be sure of his modesty. He pulled out a cigarette and sparked it, smiling to himself in accomplishment. Today was one of the best days he'd had in a long time.. He ducked through a back road and walked along the foot paths behind the corner store.  
He walked along another long path until he reached a small house attached to a garage work shop. He pushed open the door and relaxed on the couch, dodging the rusted springs.

"Dean," his dad appeared from his office, swaying in the door way. Drunk again.. Dean lifted his chin in a greeting gesture. "Dean, where the fuck have you been, I told you to come straight home because I was going to be out, remember? I came home and Sam was alone!"

Dean bowed his head. He poked the spring in the couch anxiously, "I thought it would be alright, I mean he's almost 15 now.. You used to leave us for days when I was younger than that.."

John held his finger out to Dean, "You watch your mouth with me, Dean. I'm not in the mood for your back talk tonight. Where were you, anyway? Off scoring with your scum bag friends again? Getting hand jobs from 40 year old hookers?"

Dean shook his head, standing from the couch. This isn't going to happen tonight.. Nothing can bring him down after today.

He stepped past his father, but the man caught his bicep, squeezing it hard, "March your ass to Sammy's room and apologise for letting him down," he stunk of booze. Dean glared up at John as he continued, holding his arm tighter, "He depends on you, and you're fucking useless." he pushed at Dean before releasing his arm, causing his kid to stumble sideways. John huffed out a grunt of distaste and stormed back into his office.

Dean rubbed at his arm and made his way down to Sam's room, "Sammy?" he rapped on the door with his knuckles, opening it a beat later.

Sam was stretched out on his bed reading a book, "Hey, Dean. Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, I did. I met this kid at school today," Dean sat on the edge of Sam's bed, "I'm thinking of bringing him over sometime, wanna meet him?"

Sam sat up, setting his book aside, "Yeah, I guess so,"

Dean grinned, "you'll like him.. He only just started classes today. Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, school is sending us on a field trip next week, we're going to a cheese making factory, or some crap."

"Oh, cool- uh," they laughed at Dean's fake enthusiasm, "Sorry little brother.. Cheese making hasn't ever appealed to me."

"Hey, neither, but that's where they're sending us."

He ruffled Sam's hair and backed out of his little brother's space. He was so proud of him. Sam didn't even have to do anything. Dean just had a sense of glowing big brotherly pride.. He'd guessed it was because he was such a drop kick.. And Sam was going to be somebody. He was. Dean was going to see it through to make it happen. He and Sam were different- but it was the best compatibility.

He wandered into his room, kicking empty bottles from under his feet. He stepped over the junk on his floor and hit play on his stereo, adjusting the volume a little lower than what he had it on before.  
Zeppelin filled the room. He took his boots and shirt off and unlocked his cupboard door. He opened a small baggy, licked his finger and placed it inside. He licked his finger again, letting the picture of a smiley face melt into his tongue.  
He flopped onto his bed and closed his eyes, mouthing the lyrics. It was a good day.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean awoke to his face being slapped continuously.

"Dean. DEAN." 

Disorientated, he gasped, holding his hands over his face. 

"School started over two hours ago, move your ass!" John slammed his son's door and stomped down the hall toward his garage.

Dean huffed, jumped out of bed and pulled on a clean shirt. He tied up his boots and grabbed his bag, rushed through the house and out the door.  
Fuck. He didn't mean to sleep in. He was up almost all night. He felt like shit. He never learns the consequences of taking party drugs on week days until he re-lives his mistakes, and it's too damn late. Again. Damn it.

~

 

Cas flicked his pen onto his desk. His palm pressed into his cheek, listening to the teacher explaining their assignment, writing notes on the board. He sat straighter in his seat as Dean stepped casually into the room, handing the teacher a note from the office, explaining falsely why he was late. His eyes connected with Cas', causing Cas' stomach to float around his body. Dean strode over to him, taking up the seat next to him.  
Cas found Dean's hand under the table. He ran his fingers over his knuckles a few times, squeezing his hand gently before releasing it.  
Dean didn't acknowledge him at all. 

After glancing over his shoulder at the unsuspecting class, Cas turned his attention back to his work. It wasn't fear of getting caught that had rendered Dean incapable of returning his affections. 

He just simply didn't get a reaction from him. 

He swallowed down the lump in his throat. Maybe Dean lost interest in him, maybe he did something wrong.. His mind raced over everything that had happened between them yesterday.. He found a million reasons why Dean would be annoyed at him today. He bit at the inside of his cheek in a worry.

They didn't exchange a word until break. Dean stood abruptly from his seat with a low grunt and stalked out of the classroom before Cas could gather his things to follow.

"Wait, uh-," Cas called after him, but Dean was gone. 

Cas wandered alone out of the school grounds feeling disheartened. He rested his back against a tree with a huff. That's fine. He didn't need anyone while he was here, anyway. What the fuck ever. It was fine. It was going to be fine. It's not like he gave that much of a shit about some cocky guy he had only just met. 

Fuck him.

~

 

Dean pushed open the bathroom door in a fluster and started puking into the nearest toilet. He held it in that whole time. Ugh.. The bile taste.  
He turned the water on at the basin and splashed at his face, gasping into the cold.  
Oh, he felt like shit.  
He gagged again, but nothing came up.  
"Come _on-_ " he whispered impatiently to himself. He shouldn't be feeling this sick.  
He needed to be on his game for Cas. Cas- Dean splashed his face again.  
Shit..

After a quick trip to the nurse's office, he was on his way back to the bathroom with a smug smile resting on his lips. Who would have thought this school carried dollar store tooth brushes. He squeezed out the travel sized tube of toothpaste- (also supplied by the school) onto the brush.

~

 

Almost ten minutes of silent brooding passed, when Cas saw Dean walk out of the school. He strode over to Cas after scanning around the area, finally spotting him. He sat down next to him, resting his elbows on his knees, "Sorry I'm late," he grinned,

Hm.. 

Cas smiled back.

Maybe he'd let that classroom incident slide.. Who knew what this guy was going through. Cas didn't even know him. He looked like shit. So attractive- but not.. Healthy.. -Maybe he wasn't feeling well. It probably had nothing to do with Cas.  
He did tend to over think things, after all.  
"That's okay," Cas broke his sandwich in half, handing it to Dean, "Hungry? -It's chicken salad." 

Dean bit into it before Cas finished his sentence. He couldn't remember the last time he ate. He was so hungry, the subtle mint taste of the toothpaste with the food didn't bother him at all.

Cas watched him stuff the food into his mouth, "err," his brow lifted in a worry, "are you okay?"

Dean nodded, holding the back of his hand over his mouth, "Starving,"

Cas held his half out to him, "Here, I had a big breakfast." Dean nodded, taking the other half without polite argument. Cas smiled, shaking his head. Where did this guy come from?

Moments later, Dean had finished the food. "thanks, Cas," he smiled as he shook the crumbs out of his shirt.

He stared at Dean questioningly, watching him spark up a smoke, mesmerised as the smoke pillowed out of his nose.

Dean's eyes shifted to him, "What?"

Cas crossed his legs and rested his hands in his lap, "What's your home like?"

"Not like yours.." Dean sighed quietly as he let his legs slide down in front of him, "My place is trash compared to your palace."

Cas snorted, shaking his head at Dean's over play. "Wanna go back to mine, then?" Cas lifted his legs playfully, getting ready to stand on Dean's word,

"Ha," Dean chirped condescendingly, letting the smoke trail sharply out of his mouth, "Cas," he tutted, "I wouldn't have picked you as a school ditcher,"

Cas shrugged, a little defeated, "I can't get yesterday out of my mind," he confessed, "we don't have to, if you want to stay-"

Dean rose to his feet in one fluent motion. That was all Cas had to say. "let's get out of here." He held his hand out to Cas, who swallowed and took it sheepishly.

Cas bit his bottom lip nervously as they walked. He had no idea why he was skipping school, or why he was leading this guy back to his house. He was ultimately a stranger; he knew very little about him.. He glanced back at Dean, who- as his eyes went from checking out his ass- to his face, grinned at him. He felt heat rise to his cheeks. It was completely out of character for him to be so impulsive and reckless.. But there was something..  
Something he couldn't explain about Dean that made him act this way.  
He glanced back a second time, poking his tongue out.  
He liked it.

They walked through the back gate. Cas grabbed at the key in his pocket. 

Dean couldn't wait any longer. He wrapped his arm around Cas' neck and kissed him hard. They fell against the brick wall with a thud. Cas groaned, still fumbling at the key in his pocket with all of Dean's weight on top of him.  
Dean hoisted one of Castiel's legs up around his waist. He ran his hand up the back of his thigh. The tightness of Cas' jeans had his hand running effortlessly over his ass, landing a squeeze.

Cas broke the kiss, finally freeing his hand from his pocket and blindly fumbling the key into the lock. He slid open the door, allowing Dean to walk him backwards into the house. They tumbled onto the white leather couch closest to them.  
Cas struggled underneath Dean's weight once more, but Dean kept the kiss going. He didn't want to break away from him for anything- except to rip his shirt off over his head.

Cas clawed his hands down Dean's bare chest. "Wait," he panted in between Dean kissing him, "wait.." his voice was low and hoarse. Dean kissed from Cas' mouth to his jaw, nipping and sucking down his neck. Cas moaned, clinging and pulling at Dean's waist, "My room," he gasped, "We gotta get to my room,"  
Cas' heart thumped hard. This was happening.  
Dean pressed his erection into him as he balanced on his knees, nodding lightly in agreeance.

They stumbled up the stairs, slowly undressing and grinding into each other every chance they got. It drove Cas crazy thinking about what Dean would feel like.  
What he'd taste like.  
Finally, they reached Cas' room. Dean ran his hands underneath Cas' thighs, half lifting him onto the bed.  
Cas lay on his back in his boxers, completely open and off guard. Dean stripped the rest of the way off as well, sliding in between Cas' legs. They grinded their hips against each other, the skin on skin of their stomachs was getting slippery with their heat.  
Dean stopped for a moment, his breath shaky. They felt their cocks throbbing against their stomachs through their boxers. Cas rolled his hips underneath him, unable to stop himself from moving. Dean ran his fingers over Cas' parted bottom lip, "You're fucking beautiful, Cas."

Cas smiled and kissed at his hand, rolling his hips once more.  
That move felt good..  
He did it again, with Dean following suit.  
That felt-  
Their breath sped up. Their pace quickened once more.

"Oh- Fuck." Dean drove his hips down into Cas' hard. Cas clung underneath him, meeting his movements with his own- 

Faster. Harder. Until they both reached climax.

Dean collapsed on top of Cas, kissing him lazily. They lay still for a while, listening to their breathing return to normal. Cas ran his hand down Dean's arm, resting on some dark marks. He lowered his brow, "What's this?"

Dean pulled his arm away, rolling onto his back, smiling Cas' concern away, "S'nothin."

Cas sighed at the annoying wet feeling of his boxers. He sat up from the bed, "I'll run us a shower." he stepped off, stumbling down the hall. His legs felt like jelly.

The marks on Dean's arm looked like a hand print. Maybe he got into a fight recently. It seemed like he did that a lot.. He does like to make waves. Whatever the cause of the marks, it was obvious Dean didn't want to talk about it. For now, it was none of his business.  
He pulled back the shower curtain and turned the handles.  
After stepping out of his boxers, he ran his fingers across his lips, smiling to himself. It all seemed like a dream. His mind took him away, thinking over what had just happened. If it was a dream, he didn't want to wake up.. Dean's hands slid around his waist, as if to re-assure him that it was reality. Cas leant back into his embrace, letting him plant a line of kisses along the nape of his neck.

"You have a nice ass," Dean murmured into Cas' skin with a chuckle,

"Hm," Cas turned to face Dean, whose fingers trailed along his waist as he moved, rising and falling at his hip bones before resting on the small of his back.  
He held Dean's forearms, walking him forward into the shower recess. Cas ran his hands along the curvature of Dean's ribs and rested his forehead on his chest. Dean rubbed his hands up and down Cas' back; the hot water streaming down on both of them. It was comforting in the quiet. 

 

Cas couldn't help himself from a sneaky peek from this angle. He opened his eyes, squinting through the hot steam. "Oh-," Dean's body was covered in bruises and deep set scars.  
Caught off guard by the sight, he inhaled sharply, snapping his head up to look at Dean, who blinked in confusion, 

" _Your- your legs- your stomach-_ " he stammered like a fool.

Dean's face was vacant before realisation flowed through it, "Ah.." his mouth curled self consciously. He tilted his head, avoiding Cas' worried gaze. He forgot.. He forgot where he was, and who he was with. "I'm sorry,"

Cas was silent as he picked up the soap bar and held it in between his hands, working up a lather. His lips were in a hard line. He put it back in it's holder and turned back to Dean. He ran his hands down his chest and along his stomach.  
Dean dropped his hands to his sides and closed his eyes. He leaned up against the tiles, arching away from the initial cold sting before relaxing. Cas repeated the lather and continued to run his hands all over Dean's imperfections.

Cas' eyes welled.  
As if Dean needed to apologise to him.  
As if his pain or any of those marks were his fault.  
As if he needed to say 'sorry' for giving in to any sort of emotional release.  
As if he didn't matter.  
As if anyone who saw his body was above him.  
As if they were better than him.  
As if he didn't matter.  
As if he were nothing.

 

Cas' hands disappeared off of Dean's body.

 

All Dean could hear was the rush of water.  
He became too self conscious. He spread his hands over his thighs and opened his eyes. He was met by Castiel's big blue eyes staring back at him intensely. Water ran down his dark hair, beading at the tips, before falling to his shoulders. His mouth was parted slightly. He closed it for a moment and swallowed, clenching his jaw.  
Dean stared back, taking in the image completely. Cas sure was beautiful.. And..  
He pressed his palms into Cas' torso, running his fingers up along his ribs.. He didn't have a mark on him. His skin was alabaster.  
They stood silent, marvelling at each other. Cas shivered and leaned into Dean's touch, pecking him on the lips a few times, before leaning back to face him, "Wanna get out?" 

Dean nodded absently, unable to take his eyes off of him.

Cas shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing at a towel and handing it to Dean. He opened the cupboard and retrieved another for himself. They dried themselves off and made their way back to the bed. They crawled up onto the pillows, cuddling in close to each other under the blanket.  
Cas ran the back of his hand down the side of Dean's face affectionately. Dean smiled and closed his eyes, tilting his face into the touch. He rested his hand outside the blanket on Cas' hip.

"Dean,"

"Mmm?"

"Can you tell me a bit more about yourself?"

Dean sighed and scratched at the blanket, tickling Cas' leg, "I don't know what to tell you."

Cas hummed, "I could ask you questions?"

Dean smirked at the idea, letting his dimples stand out, "Quid pro quo?"

Cas chuckled and nodded, "What's your favorite color?"

Dean gripped onto Cas' chin and held his head up, staring into his eyes, "Blue."

Cas pulled his face away, breathing a laugh out his nose, "Smooth."

"What are you going to do when you leave school?"

"Probably inherit my parent's business.." Cas sighed at his boring response. "But I don't want to, you know? I want to be my own person. I just don't know what else to do. But- whatever I do, it's going to be insecure.. If I stick to 'the plan', I know i'll be okay."

"I'll be a mechanic like my dad.." Dean answered the un-asked question, "I'm not smart, but I know some things about cars. I like working on them."

Hm. Cas cringed slightly. Their lives were so predictable.

"What are your hobbies?"

Dean's brow furrowed, trying to think, "Pool, smoking, hunting, and building stuff. I like to use my hands," Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Cas snorted.

"Favorite food?"

"Anything pasta," Cas sucked drool back into his mouth in an exaggeration, "favorite band?"

"Zeppelin, hands down." Dean shifted his body, facing the roof, "Do your parents know you're gay?"

"I'm sure they suspect it," Cas muttered, "What about your family?"

Dean shook his head fast, "No way in hell. My dad would kill me.." he glanced absently at his bruised arm, "Sammy knows, though."

Cas caught the look. It egged him toward his next consecutive question, "What's your dad like?"

Dean shrugged resisting the urge to fight Cas on asking two questions in a row, "he's a bastard."

"lovely," Cas smirked.

"yeah," Dean mused, "How about you, do you get along with your father?"

"Mm," Cas nodded slowly. He got along with his father, but they have never really 'hung out'. He shifted at the pause in the conversation, "..Can I ask you another question?"

"You just did," Dean teased,

Cas didn't skip a beat, "-Can I ask another question?"

"You.." Dean rolled his eyes, "Sure, Cas,"

Cas held Dean's arm softly as he leaned in closer- his eyes focusing hard on Dean's features, "Are you okay?"

A pang ran up Dean's back as he felt suddenly open and nervous, "Uh, yeah, why?"

"I know I have no right to ask, but I'm just worried about you. I mean, your body," Cas gestured vaguely as he let go of Dean's arm, "I just need to know if you're okay.. If anyone is hurting you, you should tell. Even if you don't tell me, you-"

Dean waved his hand in Cas' face, "Yeah, yeah." Dean rubbed at the side of his head in a minor frustration, "Don't worry, you're not the first person to reach out, okay." Dean sat up from the bed, facing toward the window away from Cas, "Yeah, okay, my dad is a bastard, I can admit that. He's a bit handsy, but it's nothing I can't handle, got it? And plus- it's not all his handiwork. I don't want to give him all the credit," he turned and winked at Cas, "If I need you, I'll tell you."

Cas nodded. Dean wasn't ready to get that close. Cas just cared so much about him. The least he could do was reach out.. That's..,  
"Okay,"

Dean sighed at the break in Cas' voice. He slid back into the bed and scooped him into his arms. "Thank you,"

Cas held him tightly, "I just need you to know that I care- Somebody cares,"

"Really, Cas, thanks," Dean looked past Cas' head at the clock mounted to the wall, "Woah, that went fast.."

Cas turned and looked at the time. They left school almost 4 hours ago.

Dean squeezed at Cas' shoulders before he sat up, "I should probably get going.. I'll get in shit if I don't get back home.. Just, uh.. Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

Cas raised an eyebrow. "Sure, I won't tell any of my friends that I definitely have made since being at that school for one and a half days." he sighed and stepped out of the bed, holding his hand out to a smiling Dean. 

He allowed Cas to lead him through the house, smiling thoughtfully as they went about picking up their clothes off of the floor, the stair rail, the couch. Cas walked him to the back of the house, pausing at the door, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Dean leant in and kissed Cas lightly, "Yeah, I'll wait for you." he turned on his heel and started back home. Cas held onto the door handle tightly. If he didn't hold something, he'd surely float away. He watched Dean walk out of sight, fighting the urge to chase after him.  
He'd never felt this way about anyone before. Sure, he'd been with people, but it was never as intense as what he felt with Dean.. Dean Winchester. He sighed and made his way back up to his room.

~

On the path just down from his house, Dean noticed some familiar faces walking toward him, "Is that my _Dean_?!" A tall blonde stepped out of the group and pulled Dean into an uncomfortably intimate hug, "I was just telling my boys that you lived down that street," he pointed toward Dean's house, "That's right, isn't it?"

"Uh.." Dean shook his head, stepping away from the unwanted touch, "Why are you telling people where I live, Balthazar?"

"Oh, it's just a minor precaution," he waved his hand at Dean, "Nothing to worry about at all."

Dean gave Balthazar a hard look. He knew what they were doing. They were talking business. "Alright, I'll be seeing you then," Dean strode away from the group. They were bad news..

"Wait, Dean," Balthazar started to walk with him, "I've missed you, you know," he waved his friends to follow them, "I want to hang out like we used to- do you remember?"

Dean avoided Balthazar's stare, "I remember,"

"Do you remember _us_?" he grabbed at Dean's groin, "Do you remember, Dean?"

Dean batted his hand away as he picked up his walking pace, "I remember you using me as both your drug pusher and for sex,"

"Yes, I do get bored of my toys easily," Balthazar scratched at his chin in amusement as he struggled to keep pace, "You're still my pusher though, right?"

Dean gave an affirmative grunt, "Unfortunately,"

"Dean," Balthazar grabbed at his jacket, pulling him to a hard stop, "You look like you're using all the product for yourself. You look like shit."

"I haven't."

"I told you to stay clean. I told you that you can sell for me- but you can't use it. Do you know how bad it looks when my employees use all the product for themselves?"

Dean tensed up, pulling away from Balthazar once more, "You'll get your money, alright?"

Balthazar turned to his friends, allowing Dean to continue walking by himself. God damn it.. He'd almost got away from that group, and they had to show up again. He needed to get back home.

"Darling, wait up!" Balthazar held his arm over Dean's shoulders as soon as he caught up, "We have decided to conduct a mandatory product inventory check," Balthazar smiled down at Dean and opened his arm, "Lead the way,"

Dean clenched his teeth. His old boyfriend. He can't see what made this dude so appealing. He was such an idiot to get involved with this crowd.  
Balthazar was his first. He had a dominating personality that reeled him in. He once craved Balthazar's attention.  
To the point where he would second guess his words and actions just to keep Balthazar interested. But then the relationship shifted to something even darker.  
He walked the group around the side of his house and into his room.

Balthazar eyed Dean rummaging through his things in a fluster, "You seem upset, Dean,"

Dean tossed a black bag at him, "I don't like unwanted house guests."

"Oh, that hurts," Balthazar opened the bag and emptied the contents onto Dean's bed. He turned to one of his friends, "Count that up,"  
He turned back toward Dean, "I've missed you," he whispered,  
The older man stepped toward him, pulling him into a tight embrace, "You're still very pretty, Dean," he backed him into the wall and started to kiss at Dean's neck, "I still get hard when I think of you," he pressed himself against him.

Dean closed his eyes, shuddering under the touch, "I'm taken,"

Balthazar licked at Dean's ear, "you're mine until you pay your debt off," he bit at his ear hard, "you're mine,"

Dean closed his eyes, groaning in pain.. Shit.

"There's a problem, Balthazar,"  
The blonde stepped impatiently away from Dean as one of his thugs spoke up, "There is less product, but not enough money to cover the loss,"

Balthazar turned toward Dean once more, clicking his tongue in disapproval, "You _have_ been using,"

Dean nodded slowly. Defeated. He was screwed..

"How much is he down by?"

"There's at least $300 unaccounted for."

Balthazar exhaled loudly. His tone turned serious. "I will see you all outside shortly,"  
With that, his thugs exited the house and left Dean and himself alone.

"How do we fix this, Dean?" Balthazar pulled at the collar of his jacket as he paced around the room, kicking water bottles lightly under his feet, "I'm not a patient man,"

"What do you want?" Dean blurted, attempting to fight the sentence that was passing, "-I can up the price,"

The blonde shook his head, "it's a lot of money, darling. It's a lot more than you will be able to come up with," Balthazar slid his hand over the wall of Dean's room, sighing at the abrasive texture beneath his fingertips, "You know what I want. And you know I always get what I want."

Movement behind him caused Balthazar to focus attention back to Dean. To his delight, he turned to see Dean on his knees, staring up at him.  
"Oh," he smiled thoughtfully, "That's not what I meant, but that is a payment I'm happy to accept."

Dean's eyes widened. He had read the situation wrong. He made a mistake. "What did you mean?" He started to stand, "What do you need me to do?"

Balthazar held his hand down on Dean's shoulder as he unzipped his jeans, "Not to worry, Dean.. This works out better,"

"No, wait, I-"

Balthazar backed him into the wall, "-Just open your mouth, whore,"

Dean scrunched his eyes and complied, parting his lips with hesitation.  
Balthazar slid his cock into Dean's open mouth, sighing at the wet warmth.  
Dean went to work, taking Balthazar deep into his throat, flicking his tongue up his shaft. Balthazar moaned, rolling his hips in time with Dean's work. He braced his hands on the wall in front of him.  
"Do you mind," he breathed deeply, "drop your hands,"  
Dean pulled his hands away from Balthazar's member, resting them on the blond's thighs.  
"Ugh," Balthazar spat, stomping his foot in a fluster, "Get your fucking hands off me, Dean."

Dean did as he was told, dropping his hands by his sides. He had almost forgot about Balthazar's one sided  
intimacy 'rule'. Their relationship was very fast, aggressive, abusive and un-emotional.

He gripped Dean's hair tightly with one hand, pulling him onto his cock. Dean grunted in pain.  
Balthazar moved hard, gyrating down Dean's throat continuously.  
He pulled at Dean's hair, holding him firmly in place as his throat fucking grew more intense.  
Dean made an involuntary noise before relaxed his throat and held his breath.  
He deserved this.  
He was just a whore.  
Balthazar bucked hard into Dean's mouth, knocking the back of Dean's head into the wall behind him at least a dozen times before he wedged Dean in between the wall and his groin hard. He moaned loudly as he came, holding his cock deep inside Dean's raw mouth.  
Dean felt Balthazar's thick hot spurts of cum slide down his throat. He gagged as his air supply ran out, staring pleadingly up at his boss' glazed expression.  
He almost tapped him, when finally Balthazar pulled away. Dean gasped, falling backwards onto his ass. He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, gasping as he eyed Balthazar carefully. 

He pulled up his fly and adjusted his clothing, "Well," the older man cleared his throat, "that was delightful,"

Dean averted his eyes, still struggling to catch air.

"I'll be seeing you around," he reached onto Dean's bed, pocketing the cash that Dean had made. He winked flirtatiously at Dean as he slipped a pill into his mouth before turning and leaving the room.

Dean kicked his dresser. His head was on fire. He wiped at the warmth on the back of his head and inspected his blood covered hand. He was a fool. How could he be so selfish and do that to Castiel? Just to save himself from a roughing up or some other kind of unpleasant task.  
He was pathetic.  
He pulled himself up off of the floor and stormed into the bathroom, slamming open the mirror to retrieve his tooth brush.  
He'd pay that debt another way.  
He couldn't do that to Cas again.


	3. Chapter 3

The bottles that Dean held under his arm clanged together as he struggled up the lattice toward Castiel's window. The things he did for this guy.. He heaved him self up onto the ledge and tapped on the glass.

Cas peeked through his curtains and narrowed his eyes in a devious smile when he saw what Dean held. 

Dean stuck his tongue out, still in attempt to catch his breath. 

The window slid open with a clank.

"I was waiting for you," Cas carefully took the bottles out of Dean's hands, placing them on his side table, "You know you can pick up my calls any time, I won't be offended if you answer,"

"Shut up," Dean pulled him into a rough kiss. Cas smiled against Dean's lips as they tumbled onto the bed. 

"What- Did you- Bring me?" Cas asked in between the kisses that he planted on Dean's jaw as Dean reached for one of the bottles,

"I hope you like vodka," Dean opened the bottle and took a pull, scrunching up his face as he swallowed. Cas rolled his eyes as he swiped the bottle out of Dean's hand.

Dean's jaw dropped slightly as he watched his boyfriend take at least four drawn out sips before lowering it from his lips with an un phased expression.

"What- I like the taste." Cas closed his eyes in defeat, immediately regretting his poor choice of words when he saw Dean's dirty smile appear across his beautiful face.  
As the night progressed, he slouched on his bed, throwing whatever petty line Dean had right back at him. He was quicker than Dean, so he had no trouble slamming him back with little effort. He knew what to say. And all the alcohol was making him even quicker.  
He laughed at Dean's frustration when his glassy emerald eyes flashed at him.  
"Have some more, babe,"

"Yeah, yeah," Dean lowered his brow as he pressed the bottle to his lips. How the hell did Cas like this stuff? It tasted like gasoline. It was disgusting.

"Dean," Cas laughed, "Just block your nose, okay?" 

Dean closed his eyes and held his fingers over his nose as he drank. The taste disappeared significantly. "Ah," he handed the empty bottle back to Cas, "I had no idea that worked,"

"hm," Cas shook the empty bottle before placing it on the floor and opening the other bottle, "Yeah, it works pretty well,"

"Do you drink a lot?"

Cas snorted, wiggling his eyebrows, "Yes,"

"Your parents let you?"

"Dean," Cas pulled the boy down onto the bed, kissing at his collar bone, "My parents are chefs. Of course I drink. Alcohol goes into almost every meal we cook. And when there's an open bottle in the kitchen, of course you drink it,"

"Oh," Dean chuckled as he squeezed Cas' biceps in his hands, licking his lips at the thought of food, "You cook as well?" 

Realisation crossed Cas' features, "I haven't cooked for you, yet," 

"Nope," Dean slurred, "I need to test all the features of the car before I buy it,"

"Ha!" Cas buried his face in his pillow, shaking with laughter,

Dean blocked his nose and poured more alcohol down his throat.

They talked for hours, kissing, pulling and touching all of each other, every chance they got. Dean fell in love with Cas' smile. He fell for Cas' mannerisms. He fell for his eyes. He fell. So hard. For Castiel.  
Cas' hand carded through Dean's hair lazily, "I'll never get tired of this. I'll never get tired of us."

~

 

They woke up tangled in each other's limbs. A morning of bliss erupted as Dean kissed and licked over Cas' torso. Cas shivered at the touch, smiling sleepily down at his boyfriend as he glanced up to meet his stare. He was so beautiful. His freckles were so much darker against his skin in this light. His green eyes were still so intense to stare at. He shied away from his gaze, smiling as Dean raked his fingers along his sides. 

"Can I take you on a date today?"

Cas gasped as Dean's thumbs made circles along his hips, "Where- where do you want to go?"

"Wanna go see a movie?"

"A movie could be fun," Cas gyrated his hips as Dean's hands swept along the waistband of his boxers.

"I'll see you in a few," Dean murmured as he slid backwards off of the bed.

"Oh, you-" Cas sat up, glaring at at Dean as he watched him pull his boots on, "-You aren't going to leave me like this..?" he gestured to the bulge under the sheets,

"That's exactly how I'm going to leave you," Dean stepped around the bed and kissed at Cas' temple, ignoring his boyfriend's whines, "Just hold off for me, okay,"

Cas folded his arms and pouted. How dare he.

"I'll see you,"

"You're coming back here?"

"Yep, I'll pick you up," Dean lowered himself out of the window, pulling the frame closed behind him.

Cas groaned, flicking his wood in aggravation before heading toward the shower. He'd wait. It'd be worth it.

~

 

Cas didn't give a shit what was playing at the movies. He nodded his head in agreement to whatever Dean had suggested and followed in behind him juggling the popcorn and drink in his hand as he stared at Dean's ass.  
Dean flicked his hip out to the side, before glancing backwards, grinning at Cas' frustrated face. He knew what he wanted.

All through the movie, Dean pressed his thigh against Cas'. He played on the friction of their jeans rubbing. He even dared to run his hand up his boyfriend's thigh and rested his palm on his crotch. Cas grunted and focused on the movie.

When the movie ended, as Dean stood, Cas swooped in behind him, hauling his body in close and hissing in his ear, "I want to fuck you,"

Dean backed into Cas' groin, pressing his ass against him. "If you want,"

Cas took a hold of Dean's hand and marched him up the path toward his house. "Hey," Dean laughed, "I have condoms and lube back at mine-, If you want-" 

Cas changed direction a few paces before stopping and turning, "Where is your house?"

Dean blinked at Cas' intense expression. Fuck.. He's hotter than ever when he's horny. He gestured toward the left. 

Cas held Dean's hand tighter and continued walking, this time aiming toward Dean's house.

After walking in silence for a few minutes, Cas spoke up. His thoughts were getting to him. "Will anyone be at your house?"

"Mmm," Dean stalled, "I don't think so,"

"Alright," Cas blinked, "And if there are?"

Dean paused, turning to him, "Relax, Cas. It's fine, I always have people over, I don't have to ask."

Cas' eyes shifted, "Okay.."

Dean scoffed, catching Cas' tone, "they're just friends, Cas, don't be jealous."

"Why the hell would I be jealous?" Cas glared at him hard.

"Hey," Dean held his hands up and laughed, "You had the look, that's all."

"Right," Cas grumbled. He shook his head and barged into Dean hard, knocking him into a bush, "you're an idiot,"

Dean laughed louder, flicking leaves out of his hair.

They continued walking, turning down another street. Dean bit at his lip nervously. The house came into view.

They approached the small house with a garage almost the size of it attached to the side.

"Is this your house?" 

Dean nodded, eyeing Castiel's reaction carefully. 

Cas nodded in approval, "I like it, it's closer than I expected."

Dean smiled at him, relieved that Cas didn't take off running in the other direction, "Yeah, it's not much, and it looks worse on the inside."

Cas laughed nervously, "Alright, I'm preparing myself for a tsunami aftermath."

They walked around the side of the house. Cas let Dean take the lead as they navigated their footing over off-cuts of wood and tools.  
He followed Dean down the hallway to his room. As soon as Cas stepped in, he was hit with walls covered with rock posters, more planks of wood, stolen street signs, and the smell of stale cigarette smoke. It was exactly how he pictured it would be.  
He smiled, turning toward Dean who was crawling over his bed toward his night stand.  
Huh.. Not wasting time. He pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube.   
Cas clambered on top of his boyfriend, pinning him face down to the mattress before pulling at his clothes.  
  
Dean huffed out a laugh as Cas' forearm dug into the back of his neck, balancing to get his jeans off. Cas' breathing was shaky as he snatched the condom out of Dean's fingers and rolled it onto his sensitive dick. He pulled Dean's jeans off of him and kissed up his spine in a hurried passion.

Dean pulled out of Cas' grip and turned his torso, "Cas, have you done this before?"

Cas shook his head, staring down at Dean.

"Okay," Dean flicked the bottle lid and squeezed lube into Cas' hand, "go slow,"

"I won't hurt you," Cas stroked himself a few times, before running his fingers along Dean's ass. He needed to make sure Dean had enough lube. Dean wriggled underneath him, his breathing hitching at the touch.  
  
Cas continued to make small circles over Dean's entrance.  
  
Dean moaned, moving against Cas' finger, "You're good,"  
  
Cas pressed a finger inside of him, pulling it out slightly before pressing in once more. Dean gasped and buried his face in his pillow.  


"Fuck me," Dean breathed, "I want you," 

"You're tight-," Cas breathed hard, "You're still so tight.. I don't want to hurt you," He gasped as Dean clenched around his finger.

"I want you," he repeated, "Please, Cas." He sighed at the empty feeling as Cas' finger was removed. 

Cas lined himself up with Dean's entrance, sliding inside him slowly, pausing to monitor Dean's reaction.

"Fuck-," Dean's braced himself on his elbows as he adjusted to the stretch. Cas pressed himself into Dean again, this time pushing all the way in. "Fuck, fuck,"  


"I'm hurting you?" Cas hesitated,

"N-no, fuck," Dean pulled himself forward off of Cas and came back down hard.  
Cas doubled over, immobilised by the feeling. Dean was so tight. So warm.. He held onto Dean's hips and started pumping into him.

Dean slowed down, causing Cas to mirror his movements. Everything felt so good. The slower they went, the harder Cas pushed. The better it felt.

Cas jerked Dean off to the rhythm of his thrusts, silently admiring Dean's length.

Dean threw his head back, gasping into the air, "Fuck,"

The growl in Dean's voice had tipped Castiel over the edge. He released inside the very worn condom, groaning at the ecstasy that pulsed through his body. He squeezed his hold around Dean's dick as warm spurts of cum covered his fist. 

Dean watched on sleepily as Cas pulled the condom off of his dick and tied it in a knot. He pointed toward the bin beside his desk.  
Cas tossed it into the bin before collapsing onto the bed and pulling his boyfriend into his side. He planted a line of kisses on his shoulder blade, smiling as Dean's skin stood on end under his touch.

Dean shivered, rolling his shoulder into Cas' chest, "Stay the night."

Cas grunted in agreement, allowing Dean to lock his fingers with his own, bringing his arm over his body.

Half way through the night, they managed to get underneath the covers of Dean's cramped bed. Dean found Cas' hand once more and pulled it in close to his chest. Cas smiled and kissed at the back of Dean's head, inhaling his hair as he stretched his aching limbs out.

~

 

A week had passed.

Dean sped through his chores, tidying the house as fast as he could before Sam and his dad got home. They'd gone to the store to buy groceries.  
He was drying the dishes, when one of his dad's scotch glasses slipped through his fingers, shattering on the floor. "fuck," he breathed, grabbing a dust pan, sweeping up the glass. He emptied it in the hopper out the back of the house. He sparked up a cigarette and opened his mouth, letting the smoke trail out, swirling away in the breeze.  
He was almost done cleaning.  
Only a few more chores to do.  
He had nothing planned for the rest of the day. He could go out with his friends across town, it'd been a while.. He pulled his phone out. Or.. Cas' face flashed through his mind. Castiel.. He had fallen for him hard and fast.  
His stomach twisted as he remembered the events over the past week.  
He flipped through his phone, reading through his messages.  
There were a few from Balthazar..

_"Great seeing you yesterday, darling. By the way, that 'job' was interest. Still at $355. See you soon. xx"_

_"I hope you're not mad at me. We still have business, I think it would be wise to maintain contact."_

_"Well, I tried calling you. It's been a week, so I guess the next call will be face to face. See you soon."_

_"Dean. Where are you."_

Dean sat his phone on his lap to stop himself from shaking as he wrote back- _"I will call you when I come up with the money. I don't want to see you."_

He dialled Cas' number without further hesitation. It rang a few times before he picked up, "Hello?"

Dean smiled at the sound of his voice, "Hey, Cas."

"Dean," Cas voice grew softer, "what's up?"

"Wanna come over today?" Dean had been putting off having him here. The house was always in shambles.

"..To your house?" Cas hesitated,

"Yeah,"

"Really?" Cas' voice lifted in surprise. He'd only been there once, and that visit was distracting to say the least.

"Yeah, are you busy? I can come get you in about an hour?"

"Sure, I'll see you then!" Cas cringed at the stupid eagerness in his voice as the line went dead.

Dean hung up, stuffing the phone back into his pocket. He flicked his cigarette into a neglected oil tray that got left outside, filled with water from the rain. It was finally the weekend. He could have Cas all to himself without school getting in the way, not that that had stopped them before..  
He finished drying the dishes, setting the cloth aside to air out. He started on his room, lazily shoving his mess under his bed and piling his clothes in his closet. He gathered some clean ones under his arm and headed for the shower. He could clean it whilst he washed himself.

~

 

Cas set his book aside, glancing at the time. He sat up, groaning at the pain searing though his hips. He smiled to himself, remembering how he got the bruises. He pulled on a hoodie that Dean had left one of the times that he had visited and stomped downstairs.  
His mom was in the kitchen, wiping down the counter, "Mom, I'm going out for a bit,"

She looked up from the spot she was scrubbing at, "Where are you off to?"

"Just to my b- My friend Dean's," Cas shook his head. That was close.

she stepped past the counter, "Oh, honey. I didn't know you made a friend, do you have your phone on you?"

Cas reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell.

"Alright, call me if you'll be late to dinner."

"Yep." Cas pulled the door closed behind him and crunched down the gravel path. The day was cold and overcast. He shivered under his breath, pulling open the gate and stepping onto the street.

"Perfect timing,"

Cas whipped his head around, spotting Dean walking up to him grinning. Cas smiled back and started walking toward him. A few steps in, he tripped on his sneaker lace. Dean quick stepped and made a grab for his arm, but it was too late. Cas stayed in the position he fell in, groaning.

Dean held his sleeve over his mouth, "You okay?" he held his breath trying not to laugh.

Cas turned to look up at him, "Yeah-" he frowned, "You know, you're not supposed to find this funny, asshole!" he laughed and took Dean's outstretched hand, pulling himself back onto his feet.

Dean smiled wider, "You should have seen the grace in that, though." he kissed Cas lightly on the cheek, before crouching in front of him to tie up his laces. Cas rolled his eyes, watching Dean silently. He stood and held his arm out to Cas, "Shall we?"

Cas snorted and linked his arm with Deans, "Now if I go down, you're coming with me."

"I'm totally fine with that."

They walked down the lane and along the path, "Will your brother be there?" Cas was eager to meet Sam. When he and Dean weren't talking about music or books, it was about Sam.

"Yeah, and John, my dad.."

"Uh," Cas folded his arms, reluctantly pacing himself, "Is he okay with me coming over?"

"He doesn't know,"

Cas stopped walking, "What?"

"I told you, I don't have to ask, Cas."

Cas nodded, picking up his pace, "Yeah, I know."

The house looked more uninviting now that Cas knew who was inside. 

Dean held the door open for him, following in after Cas as they walked into the lounge room, "take a seat if you want, I'll go see if they're back."

"Alright."

Cas sat on the couch. It was a deep green that was faded in stripes, he'd guessed it was because the curtains didn't block out the sun properly. They had a small television and a display cabinet covered in a thick layer of dust. He squinted and peered in from where he was seated.  
There were plates on stands, old champagne glasses, and a few photos. Baby photos of Dean and Sam. Cas stood up, unable to help himself from looking. A wedding photo up the back caught his eye. He slid open the glass and pulled it out. Dean got his looks from his mom. She had lighter hair than Dean, but the same bright green eyes. They sported the same features. His mom was beautiful. He set the photo back down and slid the glass closed.

Dean walked back into the room with Sam following him, "Cas, Sam, Sammy, Cas."

Sam stepped around Dean and held his hand out, "It's really nice to meet you,"

Cas smiled and shook Sam's hand, "You too, Sam. I've heard a lot about you."

Sam was a lot taller than Cas expected. Dean mentioned he was only 14, but Sam was the tallest 14 year old he'd ever seen.

"you as well, Cas. You seem better than Dean's other friends already, so I'm keen to get to know you better."

Dean punched his arm, "shut up, you'll scare him away."

Sam laughed, taking no notice, "I gotta get back to studying anyway. See ya 'round, Cas."

"Have fun, nerd." Dean dodged a flying fist, laughing at his brother's failure, "Is dad home?"

"Garage." Sam disappeared back into his room.

"Alright," Dean turned back to Cas, lifting his chin and winking, "Come on."

Cas swallowed. He wasn't prepared to meet Dean's old man. From the bits and pieces Dean has let slip of him, he was not looking forward to ever meeting the man.  
"Oh," he breathed in quiet relief as he realised that Dean was just leading him toward his room. He pulled him into a hug and inhaled the leather smell of his jacket.

Dean leant back, catching Cas' eye, "..Are you smelling me?"

Cas smiled wider, burying his face in Dean's chest, "Mm,"

Dean kissed Cas' temple and breathed against his hair, "I can't get enough of you.."

"me, too.." he tilted his head back, catching Dean's lips with his own. Dean's arms rested around his body, pulling him in close. Cas smiled against Dean's lips, "I'm so glad I moved here."

Dean nodded lightly, "Good move."

Cas' fingers wandered to the sides of Dean's hips, running across them lightly before starting at the button of his jeans. He kissed him slowly, reaching into Dean's pants and pulling him out. Dean rocked himself into Cas' hand, gasping into his mouth. Cas suddenly broke away from him and dropped to his knees. Dean watched him grip his cock in his hand. Cas stopped and looked up at him, smiling deviously. Dean smirked back, getting lost in his eyes.  
Cas lowered his gaze, opening his mouth to take the head of Dean's cock in between his lips.  
Dean groaned and closed his eyes, feeling Cas' tongue flick over the slit and swirl around the head. Cas opened his mouth wider, taking Dean in further and worked his shaft with his hand. Dean ran his fingers through the front of Cas' hair, gripping onto the back of it, half guiding, half keeping balance on his wobbling legs.  
Cas let go of his cock and rested his hands on Dean's hips, relaxing his throat, letting Dean slide deep inside him. Dean moaned and rolled his hips forward, meeting Cas' mouth. Cas sped up pulling back from the base to the tip. He got Dean shaking and panting, before sucking hard and swallowing, constricting his muscles around his cock, pushing Dean over the edge. Dean grunted, releasing down his throat.

At that moment, Sam opened the door, "Hey, Dean, I found your-" he stopped dead, staring at them with his mouth open.

Cas gasped and started choking, falling backwards onto his ass as he attempted to get to his feet. Dean held his hand over his junk, "Get the fuck out!"

Sam held his hand over his eyes, "Oh god, I am so sorry-"

"OUT!" Dean picked up a piece of wood and threw it at the closing door. He turned to Cas, who held his hand to his chest, tears streaming down his red face, "Cas?"

"water," he coughed hard.

Dean picked up the cup from the side of his bed. Cas snatched it, glugging it down. Dean watched him intensely, "You okay?"

Cas finished drinking and nodded his head.

Dean zipped his jeans up and blinked, trying to find words, "..Did you choke on my..?"

Cas burst out laughing, "Yes,"

Dean laughed and pulled him into his arms, "I'm so sorry,"

"It's alright.. Was that alright?"

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Yeah?" he slid his hands along the small of Cas' back, "It was better than alright.." he backed Cas onto the bed, "Stay here for a sec, I just gotta go talk to Sammy."

Cas lowered his head in embarrassment, "Okay."

Dean opened the door and walked down the hall, busting into Sam's room, "Hey,"

Sam lowered his book from his reddening face, "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know you were doing that.. I didn't see anything.."

"I told you I was with him, man. What do you think people do when the door is closed, knit?"

Sam held his book up, "I read."

Dean shook his head, "Okay, look.." he swung the door in his hand, "just don't tell dad, okay?"

"I know, Dean. I'm not stupid.. Now get out of here, you've still got a boner and it's creeping me out."

Dean snorted, "Thanks, little brother." He closed Sam's door and walked back to his room.

Cas was sitting on the bed looking into a bag, "What's this?" he asked without looking up.

Dean shifted on his feet. That was the black bag Cas was holding. Fuck. He swallowed and took a breath in to compose himself, "that's my stash."

"Drugs?" Cas looked up at him with a disapproving glare.

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "I take them sometimes."

Cas nodded and held the bag out to him, "Do what you want."

Dean took it out of Cas' hand, zipping it and folding it in his hands, "It's not every day,"

Cas scoffed and picked up a comic book off of Dean's floor.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Dean threw the bag lightly into his closet, "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing," Cas grumbled, "If you want to do them, that's your problem."

"problem," Dean repeated

"Mm," Cas pulled his phone out of his pocket, pretending to look at the time, "I should go, it's getting late."

"Wait, do you want to stay over?"

"No, I told my mom I'd be home for dinner." Cas scooted off of the bed and walked around Dean,

"We can call her if you want," Dean insisted,

"It's alright, I'll see you later."

"Are you angry with me?," Dean grabbed onto his wrist as he walked past, "Cas,-"

"-What?" he snapped, pulling his hand away, "I don't do the drug thing, and I didn't think you did,"

"..So, what then?"

Cas bit his lip and shifted his gaze, "So I'll talk to you later."

Dean nodded slowly, "Okay."

Cas turned on his heel and sped through the house. He turned the corner into the lounge room sharply, crashing into Dean's dad and landing on his ass. He let out a shout of surprise, staring up at him, "Sorry,"

John glowered down at him, "Who are you?"

"Uh," Cas shook his head, trying to come to his senses, "Castiel, I'm new to town," he picked himself up off of the floor and held his hand out, "Mr. Winchester,"

John smiled condescendingly, "Wow, you aren't from around here, are you,"

Cas closed his unshaken hand and dropped it to his side.

"You were on your way out?"

Cas nodded.

"You'd best be on your way, then." He turned his back, muttering something about not having the time to talk with random kids bombarding him in his house.

Cas chest constricted as he walked up the street from Dean's house. How could he be so stupid? And running into Dean's dad like that? Cas scrubbed down his face with his sleeves. That was the worst. He was so stupid. He slowed his steps. He needed to breathe. He needed to get a grip before going home. It's fine. The whole thing was just some stupid misunderstanding.  
He had this under control.  
He was in control.

~

 

Dean picked up the comic that Cas was pretending to read. That was bad.. That reaction seemed worse than if he spilled the entire truth.. It confirmed to him that he couldn't let Castiel know anything else about that situation. He was done with it anyway. He just couldn't lose Cas to something like that.


	4. Chapter 4

Cas stirred in his bed, waking up before his alarm. He had a horrible nights sleep, tossing and turning, worrying about class today. He turned his alarm off before it could make any noise, and then started his usual routine of getting ready for school. He walked through the kitchen and put some bread in the toaster.  
He hadn't returned any of Dean's calls or texts since Saturday. He just didn't know what to say to him. He'd made a point up until this town to stay away from drugs and trouble makers.  
He'd try to talk to Dean about it today. But he wouldn't even know where to begin.  
Dean would have heard about what happened with his father, John.. Cas pressed his hands to his face, re-living his mistakes and poor choices of words. He couldn't believe that he had quite literally ran into John.. Such an idiot..  
The toast popped, scaring Cas out of his self loathing day dream. He impatiently grabbed the toast and walked toward the door, allowing it to cool down in his hand before taking a bite.

~

 

Before class started, Cas wandered through the school and made his way to the bathroom. He was more nervous about talking to Dean than he realised. He splashed water over his face and gripped onto either side of the basin, looking into the mirror at his reflection.  
He wasn't happy with himself, and he had no solution to his problems. If he just told Dean 'no' when they first met, the whole situation would have been avoided..

Before he could think more on it, the door slammed open. Cas jumped and turned to the door. What the fuck was with things scaring him today. Why was he so on edge?

Dirk and his friend were standing in the doorway. Cas sighed. This was the last thing he needed.

"Look who it is, Uriel.." Dirk gestured his head toward Cas darkly,

"Hey, isn't this guy the one that called you fat?"

"Yeah, that's him." Dirk stepped toward Cas, "The faggot who is dating Dean Winchester-"

Cas blinked, dropping his guard for a moment. How did they..

"-Don't think we haven't noticed you guys. As if you can hide being a poofter." Dirk sneered, "You look like you suck a lot of dick. Oh, by the way, Where _is_ your back up today, fag?"

Cas shrugged, composing himself, "I don't need anyone to back me up," he glanced at Uriel, "I'm not a coward like you."

"He thinks I'm here to help you, Dirk." Uriel laughed, "I think I'll wait outside." he turned and stood guard outside the door, pressing his ear against the wood to listen in as he gestured for other students to keep walking.

"Dirk, you should walk away," Cas pulled a paper towel from the dispenser, drying his hands before tossing it toward the bin beside him. Damn it.. He missed.

"I should?" Dirk stepped toward him aggressively, "Why;s that? What are you going to do to _me_?"

Cas shook his head, frustrated at not being able to convey his words, "Look.. I don't even know you. I'm sorry about what I said- you don't deserve body discrimination. Just- Let's drop this, okay?"

"Woah, it makes sense when you put it like that," Dirk smiled at Cas, suddenly holding his hand out, "I'm glad we sorted that out,"

Cas cautiously opened his hand, taking a step toward Dirk. Well, they were young adults after all.. There's a lot of proving, a lot of angst..

Dirk pushed Cas hard, causing a cracking in his back as he fell against the porcelain. Dirk followed by landing a punch in Cas' face. Cas gasped and held his arms out, " _Fuck_ \- Stop," Dirk landed another blow to Cas' jaw and kicked him in the stomach. Cas fell to his knees, winded. Shit. This is _not_ how tense situations should be handled. Cas made an executive decision to stay down.

Dirk stood over him, "I'd never be friends with a faggot," he kicked Cas hard in the leg before he walked out of the bathroom, "Watch your back," leaving Cas on the floor.

Cas leant against the tiles and pulled his knees into his chest, gasping through the air like a fish out of water. So this is what being winded felt like. His head spun. His heart pounded in his ears. He felt like shit. He cradled his chin in his hands, staring at the scrunched up paper towel that didn't make it to the bin. With his mind racing again, he stared until the bell rang. "Agh," He rolled onto his knees before he stood and turned to the mirror. He gasped as he inspected his face. It was worse than he thought. He pulled his hoodie over his head and limped to class.  
Cas held his head down for the rest of the day, embarrassed by the marks that Dirk had left him with. Any time he made eye contact with anyone, he caught people whispering and laughing. Some guy even stuck his tongue in his cheek and made a blowjob gesture at him. Oh. Those fucking assholes must have told everyone about himself and Dean..  
Well, they couldn't prove it.

~

 

Dean side eyed a couple of girls from his class as he overheard his name in their conversation. They giggled at him and turned back toward their group. That was weird. Dean narrowed his eyes, attempting to tune in as he continued pretending to work in his book. The book was merely a cover to hide the etchings that he was carving into his desk; A big initialling of D.W.  
"Yeah, with that new guy, _Casteel_ , or something,"  
Dean tensed up when he heard Castiel's name. They were definitely talking about them.

He pulled out his phone _"Are you at school today? There's something going on. It's like everyone knows about us."_ He hit the send button. They had no classes together today. He couldn't even find Cas during their breaks. It was as if Cas was avoiding him on purpose. Wood shavings fell into his lap as he drove his pocket knife harder into the table. 

~

 

Cas didn't see Dean until after school had ended. He was too tired to care about talking to him about the other day anymore. The only thing on his mind was his home.

He picked up his pace just as Dean spotted him. He just wanted to go home.

Dean called out to him, but Cas ignored him and kept walking. " _go away,_ " Cas hissed under his breath as Dean's footsteps overtook his own.

Dean stepped past him just outside the last school building before the path toward his house started and put his hands on his shoulders, forcing him to a halt, "Hey, didn't you hear me?" Dean eyed Cas up and down impatiently, "What, did you lose your phone or somethin'?" 

Cas had stopped walking, but he didn't look up. He didn't want Dean to see him like this, not after how he acted, it'd just be too much. He didn't want his pity.

Dean breathed out a frustrated sigh, keeping his hands firmly on Cas' shoulders, "Look, dude.. You can at least tell me that we're over."

Of all the things that he had heard today, that line had hurt him the most. Cas choked on his breath, unable to hold his emotions down any longer.

"..Cas?" Dean kept a hand on Cas' shoulder as he curled his finger under his chin to tilt his face up. Cas sighed and closed his eyes, blinking tears down his face as he let Dean take a look at him. "Jesus," Dean breathed.  
Cas had a dark bruise on his cheek bone, half his face was swollen. Dean knew who had struck him.. He clenched his teeth, "I'll fucking kill him," Dean dropped his hand, allowing Cas to lower his face. He stepped back toward the school, "Where the fuck is he?" he bellowed.

"Dean, don't worry about it.." he reached out and held onto his forearm, "It's over now, okay? Just drop it,"

Dean pulled out of Cas' grip as he spotted Dirk walking out of the school with that smug face of his. Dean took off, half running toward him.

"Dean-" Cas followed after him. _Fuck, fuck, fuck,_

Dean marched up to Dirk and whirred his fist into the side of his head, dropping him to the ground.  
He stepped over him pulling his fist backwards, "What the fuck did I say?!" he threw another punch, "What the fuck did I say?!" he repeated, landing another strike.  
Disorientated, Dirk held his arms to his head to protect himself, deflecting one of Dean's punches. Dean grunted as his fist connected with the concrete beside Dirk's head. He clutched onto Dirk's arm and lowered it, landing another heavy blow to his face.  
Dirk's friends grabbed Dean in an attempt to pull him off of their friend. Dean rolled out of their grip effortlessly and continued to beat Dirk, who had dropped his hands completely.

"Move, let me through!" Cas squeezed through the fast growing circle of people surrounding the boys, "Dean, stop!" He grabbed at Dean's jacket, but the leather pulled out of his grip as Dean rolled his shoulders underneath him. Cas fell to his ass, shocked at the sight of Dean pummelling this guy.  
He stood again, hurrying to Dean's side, "You'll kill him, stop!" Cas caught Dean's pulled back fist.

Dean relaxed his fist in Castiel's hand.  
He turned and looked up at him.  
His face was blank, as if he was having trouble processing Castiel's words.  
His mouth was agape.  
He was breathing hard.

" _Stop,_ " Cas gasped, relieved that Dean held his stare, "He's out, Dean, you have to stop." he grabbed Dean's other wrist and pulled him to his feet. He looked down at Dirk and a panic ran through him. The guy wasn't moving. Blood was oozing out of his face- Cas couldn't tell where from.

"We- We have to go." Cas led Dean through the crowd of people, not daring to let go of his wrist until they were up the street and inside his house.  
He sat Dean on the couch and walked into the kitchen.  
His body vibrated with adrenaline.  
He ran a shaky hand through his hair as he opened the freezer. Dean scared him back there. His eyes darted around the contents of the freezer, searching for an ice pack. How could Dean lose himself like that? He bit at his lip. Dean was dangerous. He could have killed Dirk. But Dirk was going to be okay. Dirk had to be okay.. 

 

Focus. 

 

He snatched at the ice pack, pulling the slippery blue plastic out from underneath the frozen vegetables. He wrapped it in a paper towel and made his way back toward Dean.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Cas' voice trembled. He pressed the ice pack into Dean's knuckles, ignoring Dean's pained hiss of protest, "You really hurt him, Dean. He wasn't moving-"

"-Well, I told him to stay away," Dean interrupted sharply as he adjusted the pack on his stinging hand, "he didn't listen. He had it coming, Cas. He wouldn't have stopped, I was protecting you."

"Well, I didn't ask you to!" Sirens could be heard in the distance, "Fuck!" Cas flopped onto the couch next to Dean and pressed his hands to his forehead, "What the fuck do we do?"

Dean rested the ice pack in his lap and pulled Cas' hands away from his face, "Hey," Dean's features softened as Cas stared up at him, "It's going to work out. Trust me, okay?" 

Dean's voice was relaxed and even. It was soothing. Cas closed his eyes and nodded.

"I'm sorry.." Cas shook his head, "I'm sorry for the other day."

Dean wrapped his arm around him and kissed at his shoulder, "..I really thought you were breaking up with me today."

"No-," Cas choked, "I don't want to break up with you. I just didn't know what to say. I- I still don't know what to say.. I've never been confronted with anything like that before. I guess I'm just not good with anything too foreign to what I've been brought up knowing."

"So it's just the drug thing?"

Cas lowered his head, embarrassed, "Yeah."

"Good," Dean sighed, relieved. "I can change that. I'll change it, I promise."

"Well, while we're talking about this," Cas eyed Dean's worried expression, "please.. Just stop trying to be the hero, Dean," Cas pulled away from him, "No one around you needs rescuing, okay? You're just going to get yourself thrown in jail or killed if you keep trying to save everyone- You can't save everyone. You try, but you just can't."

Dean nodded, staring at Cas' features. How could he just stand back and let someone hurt him, when he could do something to stop it..  
"I'm sorry,"  
Was all he said. But he wasn't sorry for the reason Cas thought he was. He was sorry for offending people. for never for a second allowing himself to be a bystander. He would never do nothing. He would always stand and fight for the people he loved. If that upset anyone around him, he was sorry. Because he knew he could never stop.

Cas pulled his feet up underneath himself and leant against Dean. They sat on the couch, small talking for about an hour until a knock at the door startled them.  
Cas jumped to his feet and walked toward the door. He was greeted by two police officers, "Is Dean Winchester here?"

Castiel swallowed hard, "Um," he glanced back at Dean, who was leaning forward on the couch looking at them, "Yeah, he's here."

"Can we come inside?" the other officer asked,

"..I- I guess," Cas left the door open and sat back on the couch next to Dean. He could feel his eyes start to burn again.

"Dean Winchester?"

Dean was still leaning forward, "Yes,"

They stood in front of the two boys, "We'd like to ask you both a couple of questions about your classmate, Dirk."

Dean rolled his shoulders forward, slumped and relaxed, "Sure,"

"Do you mind walking us through what happened today?"

"Well, Dirk had it out for Cas, so I stepped in and stopped it," Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in a frustration, "It'd already gotten out of hand. Look at what he did," He waved his hand at Cas' face, "I had to stop it,"

"You stopped it by putting him in the hospital for a second time?"

"No," Dean replied adamantly, "Well- _yeah_ , -but the first time, he was beating up my brother."

The officer crouched in front of them, "Do you understand the saying 'two wrongs don't make a right'?"

"Yes." Dean affirmed

"Maybe you'd want to remember that the next time you find yourself in this position, alright?"

Dean nodded.

"Well, we are going to have to take you both with us to the station. Your parents have been notified of the incident and they'll be at the station waiting for you."

Cas held his hands up to hide his crumpled face, "But I didn't do anything," he whispered, "I didn't even touch him,"

Dean protectively held his arm over Cas' knee, "Can't you just take me? He really didn't do anything."

"Unfortunately not. He has to come in and make a statement."

Dean sighed, standing from the couch. He held his hand out to Cas, apologetically furrowing his brow when he saw how upset Cas was.  
Cas took Dean's outstretched hand. His other hand he held blindly over his face as he let Dean hug him into his side and guide him out the door toward the cop car.  
Dean ignored the officers as they exchanged raised eyebrows at how close the boys were to each other.

~

 

They followed the officers through the doors of the station, where they were met by their parents. Cas' mom held her arms up in a furious confusion, "What the hell happened, Castiel?"

"It wasn't-" Cas' voice hitched, falling behind the escort, "Mom, it wasn't my fault.."

"Dean, we'll talk when we get home." His father's voice was blunt and forceful.

Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat, "Yes, sir."

They were led around the side of the front area, and into a small room with a desk. Another officer was waiting for them, "Take a seat." They sat down next to each other, walking the officer through the details of what happened.  
Dean shifted angrily in his seat when he heard the details of what Dirk had done to Cas. Ultimately, the end result was that Dirk was in hospital with a broken jaw, a broken nose, and two missing teeth. He was given the option to press charges- which he declined.  
Cas sighed in relief. He didn't want Dean to get into trouble because of him. Dean did however get suspended from school for a week.  
Cas walked out of the station with his parents. He glanced over his shoulder at Dean, who was staring back at him. He smiled remorsefully and climbed into the back seat of their car.

"What the hell has gotten into you, Castiel? This behaviour is unacceptable. You have chosen the wrong friends this time-"

"You're wrong- He's one of the best one's I've ever made, he was sticking up for me," Cas glared at his father, "You don't understand."

"He put a kid in the hospital, Castiel. It's a very serious thing."

"I know, but-" 

"-I don't want you associating with him again, are we clear?"

"No." Cas growled and turned to stare out the car window.

"You're grounded to your room. As soon as you get home."

~

 

John hauled Dean into the house by the scruff of his jacket, "What the fuck was that, Dean?" he let him go, directing his son to the couch, "Sticking up for random kids, and putting other kids in the fucking hospital? What's wrong with you!" he turned and slammed the door. Dean flinched at the bang.  
"I can't believe this, they tell me it's the second time this has happened with the same kid, and apparently he wasn't even picking on you."

Dean shook his head hesitantly, "no, he was picking on Sammy the first time.."

"That's no excuse to step in," he leant over the couch opposite Dean, "If you see a problem, you tell someone who can handle it, you don't act on your own, that's how you get expelled. I'm surprised they're even letting you back. This is your last strike, do you hear me? Any more fuck ups, and you're out of there."

Dean stood from the couch, throwing his fists by his sides, "How is this wrong?!" He yelled, "I don't fucking get how sticking up for people is against the law- I don't get how speaking up for people who can't is fucking frowned at- Tell me!" Dean squinted his eyes, "Just tell me why I can't help people!"

"You can't use your fists to help anyone, Dean, it doesn't work like that."

"It did work-,"

"You can't strike someone down without consequence, idiot!" John barked over the top of his son, stepping toward him, "The only reason you are _not_ in prison is because you're a _minor_ , do you hear me? The second you lay a finger on someone as an adult, you're in the cage for assault."

"Really?" Dean tilted his head, staring John down and crossing his arms, "That's funny,"

"What are you trying to say," John lowered his voice, "If you want to be a man, Dean, you come right out and you say what you want to say to me."

Dean smiled and averted his gaze, "You're not in prison,"

"What was that, son?"

Dean bit his lip and shook his head. He didn't want to push it. He decided to take the out.

"Alright, not today." John held his hand out, "I'll take your phone. Now."

Dean opened his mouth in a protest, but stopped himself when he saw how red his dad's face was. He sighed in defeat and felt around in his pockets, pulling out his stuff and handing the phone over.

John eyed the contents of Dean's pocket, "You shouldn't be smoking. I don't even remember allowing you to. So congratulations, you just quit." he held out his hand.

Dean scrunched his face up and threw the pack at him, "this is not fucking fair,"

"Really, Dean? Let me change your mind." John stepped purposefully down the hallway and kicked open Dean's door. He knocked all Dean's cassettes onto the floor and ripped out Dean's stereo from the stand Dean built around it, snapping the wood.

Dean jumped to his feet, hearing all the noise and ran to the door, "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Taking this," John pulled the plug out of the wall and stepped toward the door, "move if you don't want a belting as well."

Dean yelled and stomped back into the lounge room and pulled his feet up onto the couch. He held his head in his hands and bit back tears.

John carried the stereo out to the garage, "This will stay here until you've learned your lesson," he came back to Dean, who was brooding on the couch, "until then, you're in your room, and you're not going anywhere for the week that you're off school."

Dean stood in a huff, and started to stomp toward his room. 

"Pick up those feet, Dean!" 

Dean stepped into his room and shut the door. He stood over his bed and looked at the damage his dad inflicted to his player stand. The wood was completely split in some places. "Fucking _hell_ ," he kicked his foot down on top of it, obliterating the stand.  
He scrubbed at his eyes hard and sat on the edge of his bed.  
He felt the itch.  
He flicked open the pocket knife from his drawer and held it to his arm. He pressed it against his skin hard, contemplating whether or not to slide it. He sniffed and dropped the knife to the floor.  
"No," he shook his head angrily. He was better than that.  
He felt under the bed and flicked out a pack of cigarettes from the corner of the metal frame. He cracked open his window and sparked one up, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply.

It wasn't fair at all.. 

Dean looked at his clock, it was almost 7pm. His dad would have started drinking by now. John had a habit of brooding over issues whilst drinking- and that's what Dean was afraid of. He stuffed his new pack of cigarettes into the inside of his jacket pocket and put it on. He'd rather deal with John sober and angry at him for sneaking out, than John drunk and getting angrier at him for stuff he'd already punished him for.

He opened the door of his room and popped his head out. The coast was clear. He crept out the back door and jogged up the path until he felt that he was in the clear of the house. He didn't realise where his feet were really going until he was walking at the foot of Castiel's street. He crept out the back of his house and climbed one of the lattices to get onto the porch roof below Cas' window.  
He peered in through the curtain crack. Cas was laying in bed flipping through a book. He was chewing on the lace that ran through the hood of his jacket. He looked really tired. His face was still raised and discoloured. Dean tapped on the glass with his knuckles, immediately regretting it, feeling the sting run through them.  
Cas jumped and looked toward the window. Recognition spread across his face. He looked toward his door before he moved, checking for house noise. He lifted the window open, "What are you doing?" he whispered, "You could get in so much trouble."

Dean scoffed, "too late for that. My dad took my phone so I couldn't call you."

Cas' eyes widened and he looked at Dean sideways, "Would he read through it?"

Dean's stomach clenched, "fuck.." he breathed. "I really hope not.."

The wind outside picked up causing Dean to shiver. Cas opened the window up higher so that Dean could step through, "How long are you staying?"

Dean lowered himself into the room, "I don't wanna go back tonight."

"Stay here with me." Cas closed the window behind Dean and slid back into bed. He held his arm out for Dean, who pulled his boots off and snuggled in close to Cas, resting an arm over his waist. Cas picked his book up and attempted to start reading again,

"He broke my stereo stand,"

Cas looked down at him, "Didn't you build that?"

Dean nodded, "took me ages.."

"I'm sorry.." Cas kissed Dean's temple, "I'm sorry for everything."

"Cas, it's not your fault."

Cas sighed, resting his book on his chest, "The truth is, I've never had anyone stick up for me like you have. The first time I met you, you were defending me, and you didn't even know me. You blow my mind, Dean, and I sometimes don't know what to do or say. I just need you to know that I am with you, and I am next to you in everything. You're not alone."

"Ha," Dean nodded, flashing Cas a watery smile, "That's good to hear."

"You've got me, Dean." Cas held Dean's arm, "You've got me."

"We're talking about the future of our relationship, aren't we." Dean breathed out a goofy laugh.

Cas could tell he was attempting to lighten the weight of the conversation, "We can stay together if you can forgive me,"

"No, none of this is your fault, Cas. I wouldn't be here if it was."

"Either way, I'm glad you are," Cas mumbled into his ear. He lifted his book, and after a while, he turned the page. 

Dean adjusted his torso lightly so that he could watch Cas easier. He was completely taken by Cas' ocean blue eyes as they swept over the book.

Cas sighed as Dean's gaze distracted him from his reading once more. He shook the book in the air, "I can't stop thinking about you, it's driving me crazy."

"Awesome, that makes the both of us." Dean reached up behind Cas' head and pulled him into a soft kiss. Cas set his book back on his nightstand and rolled over to the side, facing him. He rested his hand on Dean's chest and hummed softly.

Dean leant in close to Cas' ear, "I owe you something, don't I?"

Cas smirked, "Mhm."

Dean pushed Cas gently onto his back, before he pecked him on the lips and disappeared under the covers. Cas closed his eyes, feeling Dean's hands pressing at his hips, and pulling at his jeans.  
He helped slide them down to his thighs, before Dean pushed his hands away. He held onto the sides of his pillow, squeezing it tightly when Dean sucked the head of his dick. His lips parted, letting out a low sigh. Dean's thumbs pressed into Castiel's hips, urging him to roll them forward, meeting Dean's mouth with his slow thrusts. He found his breath growing louder. He pulled the pillow from behind his head and held it over his mouth, suppressing his involuntary whimpers of pleasure.  
After a while, Dean sped up, feeling Cas' thighs shake against his shoulders. He flicked his tongue down Cas' shaft, causing him to convulse lightly into an orgasm. He gasped and moaned into the pillow loudly, unable to keep himself quiet.  
Dean froze for a moment, reliving what had happened with Balthazar.  
No.  
No, this was different.  
This was Cas. He liked doing this. This felt good. It was fine.  
Swallow.  
Swallow.  
It was fine.  
He tasted great.  
Dean kissed a trail up Castiel's body and pulled him into his arms, hoping that Cas didn't notice the hesitation.  
But Cas couldn't move, it felt like his body had all of it's energy drained. He was so relaxed. He felt himself slipping into sleep.

Dean linked his fingers with Cas', smoothing his thumb over his hand, "Cas.."

"Mm,"

"love you," Dean exhaled,

Cas pressed his face into Dean's chest, "love you, too."


	5. Chapter 5

Cas was shocked out of sleep by his mother screeching over the top of him. He gasped, clutching at the blanket. He felt warmth next to him. He turned to see Dean staring wide eyed up at her.

"What the hell is going on in here?! Why is Dean here! And why are you naked?! What are you doing!" she screamed. Castiel's dad poked his head in around the corner to see what the commotion was. He saw Dean laying in the bed next to his son, scared out of his wits.

He stepped in and hustled her out of the room, half closing the door, "Get your stuff together, we'll see you both downstairs."

Cas' mouth hung open as he looked back to Dean, who held the same expression. They stood from the bed, listening to the screeching that continued downstairs. Dean pulled his shirt over his head, "That's in my top 5 worst wake ups ever.."  
Cas nodded in agreement, brushing his hair out of his face. He'd like to hear the rest of that list, but he felt it was inappropriate to ask right now.  
They took as long as possible to get dressed, delaying the inevitable walk downstairs. Dean pulled Cas into a hug from behind as he opened the door, "I'm really sorry,"

Cas relaxed into his arms, "It's alright," he sighed and pulled the door open. They had to find out somehow. Cas had a feeling, he would never have willingly told them.

They clomped down the stairs and into the dining room. Cas' parents were sitting at the table waiting for them.

"Take a seat boys,"

They sat opposite Cas' parents. Dean rested his hands on the table and yawned. Cas' dad cleared his throat, "Castiel," Cas looked up at him blankly, "It would have been nice to ask us in advance if you could have a guest over."

"Yes," his mother continued, "So if we had have allowed it, we could have set up a separate bed."

Cas rolled his eyes, "but you wouldn't have allowed it.."

His dad cleared his throat, interrupting the banter, "Does your father know you're here, Dean?"

Dean started pulling at some loose skin on the side of his thumb nail, "No, sir."

"Well, we should probably call him- if he was any kind of father, he'd be worried sick!" Cas' mom stood from her chair,

"Mom," Cas started,

"Don't start, Castiel!" she held her fingers to her temples, "I can't even look at you, I- I don't understand what's happening here!"

"Dean is my boyfriend-!" Cas' voice cut out at the end of his statement, realising that he just said that out loud. To his parents. "I was going to tell you, I just-' Cas was interrupted by his mother's sobbing. His brow furrowed in a worry as he looked toward his dad, who had stood without word- taking his mom into the other room. Cas buried his head in his arms. He dug his fingernails into his palms and stared into the cracks of the wooden floorboards. They hated him. They hated him.

"Cas, you okay?" Dean whispered

Cas didn't respond. He wasn't ready to tell them. He wasn't ready to lose them.

His dad came back a moment later and placed his hand on Cas' shoulder, "That's fine, son. Your mom's fine, but I think she just needs time to get over the fact she's not going to be a grandma." Cas sniffed back fluid and nodded into his arm.  
His father continued, "It's natural, Castiel. You're doing nothing wrong, that's what you both have to understand, okay?" He looked to Dean, who was biting his lip and rubbing Cas' back, "You are very lucky, Dean. One, because we're not going to call your father, and two, because you're dating our son. Take care of him, do you understand?"

Dean swallowed hard, "Yes, sir."

He smiled, leaning in to ruffle Dean's hair, "Call me James. Now, I'll give you two a while, then you should be on your way back home, alright?" he turned, walking back to his wife.

Dean's eyes trailed from James, to Cas. He still had his head down and was curled in on himself, resting on the table. Dean smoothed his hand along the outside of Cas' thigh, "Cas,"  
Cas shied away from his touch.  
Dean pulled his hand back. He sat in silence next to Cas for a few minutes, listening to his sniffle intervals. He was opening and closing his mouth in attempt to say something to make Cas feel better. He had nothing.. He didn't want to overstay any longer, so he rose silently to his feet and started walking away.

Dean was walking away. Dean was leaving. Dean wasn't going to come back. Cas closed his eyes tightly, before opening them, spinning his body to face him, "wait-," he croaked.

Dean turned on his heel mid-step, walking back and crouching by Cas' side, "I'm here."

Cas attempted a smile, "thank you,"

Dean hugged around Cas' middle tightly, "I wouldn't leave you like this if I had a choice."

Cas leant forward and rested the side of his face on Dean's head, "I don't want you to go.. I don't know when I'll see you again.. And Dean, if it's bad over there, just come back. Just come back here, okay?"

"I'll come back tonight."

Cas leant in further, half off the chair and nuzzled into Dean's neck, "I'll wait up."

Dean got to his feet and shook out the tingles in his legs from crouching. He bent down and rested his mouth on Cas' forehead, kissing it softly.

Cas closed his eyes, "I'll miss you," he sniffed against Dean's chest.

"I'll miss you." He squeezed Castiel's shoulder and walked out of the house.

Cas crossed his legs on the chair and rested his head on his arm again. His dad walked out a while later, "Wanna take the day off, buddy?"

Cas nodded, slid off the chair and dragged himself back to bed. He didn't expect his mom to have that kind of reaction.. He felt like shit. She completely rejected him. He didn't bother undressing again, he curled up under his covers and hugged his shoulders, staring at the wall and inventing patterns and shapes from the high class brush strokes.

~

 

Dean strode around the side of his house, entering through the back door. He ran into Sam in the hallway. He looked him up and down. Something was wrong. "You okay?"

Sam nodded, sighing. "You have to tell me when you leave like that. I was worried."

No, that wasn't it. Something else was wrong.

Dean knew when his little brother was upset. He held his arms out to his sides, raising his eyebrows, "and?"

Sam closed his eyes. He'd always had trouble delivering bad news, "Dad tore your room apart, Dean."

"What?" Dean choked, stepping closer in disbelief, "What did you say?"

Sam took a few steps backwards, giving up trying to explain with words. He gestured into Dean's room. Dean's mind was swimming. He was suddenly dizzy. He stepped hesitantly toward his room, first noticing that his door was missing..  
He sucked in a sharp breath, glancing around his room. His posters had been ripped off of the walls, his bed was flipped onto its side, his cupboard was smashed to bits.. Dean's eyes blurred at his cassette tapes in pieces on the floor. "No," he breathed. "No, no, no.." he dropped to his knees, running his hands through his hair, gripping on to the tips tightly, "this can't be fucking happening."

"Dean.." Sam spoke slowly, "it's more than that," Sam crouched down beside his brother, "he flipped out because you were gone, and he looked on your phone to see if he could find out where you went, and.." 

Dean turned to look up at him. He knew what he was going to say.

Sam stared down at Dean's glassy eyes, "He knows. He knows about Cas."

That was the kick to the teeth he had expected. He exhaled and turned away, shaking his head. "where is he?" he asked dryly.

"Garage," Sam replied, "and he's still mad."

"Ugh," Dean rose to his feet and stepped past Sam, "you should go to your room."

"Wait-" Sam held Dean's arm, "You should leave before he notices you're back,"

Dean clenched his fists, "Where the fuck am I going to go?" he shrugged out of Sam's hold, "..Besides, there's no point now, is there."

"Of course there is, Dean.. I just want you safe.. I mean, I need you around, man."

"I know you do, Sammy," Dean rolled his head in his shoulders, cracking his neck, "I just gotta do this. I need to know where I stand now."

"Well, you might not be standing at all if you go in there. I've never seen him so pissed-"

Dean stormed down the hall and pulled the garage door open. His dad was bending down inside the hood of an old truck he'd been fixing for one of the men at the steel fabrication shop down the road. He snapped his head up and looked over at Dean, who was struggling with his 'fight or flight' instincts.

His brow line creased deeply as he stood, still grasping a wrench in his hand, "Dean," he held his arm out, gesturing toward the seats that lined the wall to his right, "We really need to talk."

Dean swayed at the door, "I want you to drop that wrench you're holding, first."  
John glanced at his hand, smiling condescendingly at Dean's request. He heavy handedly placed the wrench on the engine and nodded. Dean stalked into the room, drawing blood on the inside of his cheek as he bit his anger into it.

John followed Dean with his body as he walked around him, "Have you seen your room?"

"Yep," Dean spat, flopping into the chair hard, "you had no right to destroy it- it's my stuff, not yours. I'd buy a lock, but- well- I have no fucking door,"

John's nostrils flared. He gripped the arms of Dean's chair, leaning in close, "This is my _fucking_ house, just like you are my _fucking_ kid." he gripped onto the front of Dean's shirt, almost reefing him off the chair, "And I didn't raise no faggot." he spat through his teeth.  
  
"You didn't raise me, I raised myself and I raised Sam," Dean shook, taking a breath, "You weren't there." He pulled back his arm and slapped Dean across the face, "I don't know where I went wrong," he yelled, inches away from Dean's face, "Your mother would turn in her grave if she knew her son was a poofter!" he slapped him again before releasing him. 

Dean held his face, falling back into the chair.

"You think I wouldn't find out about this? You think you can keep secrets from me?"

"I never tell you anything, dad," Dean's voice broke, "because this is how you react,"

John's hands fumbled on his belt buckle. 

Dean's eyes widened, "I'm not a kid anymore," he leant forward to get up, "You take a shot at me, do whatever you gotta do. Just don't do that-"

"-Don't you fucking move," John cautioned, holding his index finger up to Dean as if he were a disobeying animal.

Dean hesitantly conceded. He pulled his leg in on himself, flinching away from the all too familiar unforgiving crack the belt made when his dad folded it, "You're never too old for a flogging. I'm going to make your ass look so god damn unappealing, no boy will ever look at it again."

~

 

Dean lifted himself to his feet, wincing at the burning in his body. He limped down the hall, sulking in the doorway of his room. 

"Are you okay?" 

He jumped at Sam's sudden appearance. 

"I heard some of that.." he rested his hand on Dean's shoulder, "Are you okay?" he repeated,

Dean smacked Sam's hand off of his shoulder, "No."

Sam stood next to him reluctantly, "Can I help you clean up?" he scratched at the back of his neck, "I kinda miss your company." It had been ages since they talked properly, most of the time it was just a passing comment, or a 'hello' at school. He had missed it badly.

Dean rubbed at his eyes in tired frustration, "Not right now, okay?"

Sam hesitated, "I can fix your bed, you can just lay there and I can clean it all for you?"

"Sammy?" Dean raised an eyebrow, "just.. Later, okay? I need space." 

Sam nodded and crossed his arms.

He watched on as Dean sighed, dropping to his knees. "I don't wanna be here anymore.." He mumbled under his breath. Sam wasn't sure if he was talking to himself now. Dean started sorting through his stuff, slowly building a pile of items that weren't broken. 

"It's just for one night, Dean. Then we'll get it fixed up tomorrow, okay? We'll replace all your stuff,-"

"-No." Dean blurted sharply, "I don't mean this room, Sammy. I mean this world."

"No, you don't mean that." Sam crouched in front of his brother and hugged over his shoulders, "You don't mean that." He repeated. "Don't say that."

"Sorry." another empty apology.

Sam held his brother tightly for a while longer before breaking the brief silence, "Can I stay with you?"

"No," Dean whispered dryly, patting his little brother's shoulder, "No, I'll be okay." He allowed Sam to rise to his feet as he turned back to his things.

All of his posters were ripped, un-fixable. His cassettes looked like they'd been stomped on.. They probably had been.. He gasped as he straightened his back- remembering his bag. He crawled across his room and gingerly lifted a panel of his closet away.  
Sitting in a corner under one of his coats was the bag.

Relief washed over him. He threw the coat over his shoulder and pulled the bag toward him, opening it up. All the contents were there. He held it in his hands.. He didn't really know how long for. So many thoughts passed through his head, the past few days had been a struggle. This past week had been a struggle. This month.. This year.. He sniffed back his tears and shook his head. He deserved a break. He needed a break. 

He turned back toward the door.  
Sam had left him alone.  
Finally.  
He took out a baggy and stuck his hand in a little further, "ah-" he recoiled, pulling his lip up in pain as he inspected the cut. He had a gash taken out of his finger from the razorblade he was reaching for. He held the bag to the light so he could see in at an angle and retrieved it successfully.

~

 

_The silence hurt his ears._

 

The thudding and the vibration of the floor and wall of someone walking made the sting go away. It was nice.

_"Dean,"_

that was the sound of his dad's voice.. But it sounded warped and weird. He chuckled a little. 

"Dean," 

He didn't want to open his eyes. They felt so heavy, like someone had taped them down. He tried to turn his head, but it ended up swinging down into his chest.  
The steps came closer, "Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" a hand came down on the side of his face, pushing his head to the side for a moment, before it returned to his chest.  
Dean found this funny as hell.  
It was like one of those bobble head dogs he'd seen over at the corner store window. He liked the one with brown and white spots and giant blue eyes. If Cas was a bobble head dog, that would be him-

"Dean- get up!" he felt his body lift off of the ground away from the wall he had propped himself up against. His head swung backward, letting the gravity of his eyes lift a little. He fluttered them open, revealing his father looking at him angrily, "What the fuck are you on- drugs?"  
Dean grinned wildly. His dad looked so weird when he was angry. It was like he wasn't his dad. He managed to lift his arm up and held the side of John's face, before being dropped back onto the ground. He fell hard.  
"Don't touch me like that, you-" the words were muffled.  
Pain throbbed through his body.

Why would his dad just drop him like that? He once picked him up and held him up above his head, telling him how proud he was when he shot his first rabbit.. His face crumpled. He held his shaking hands to his face and choked on a sob.

The footsteps started again, leaving the room. Quieter.. Silence.

 

_The silence hurt his ears._

 

His eyes scanned the floor, stopping on the razorblade tool he'd used earlier. He clumsily made a grab at it, holding the thin metal in-between his fingers.  
Without thinking about it, he heavy handedly dragged the blade up both of his arms twice. It bled faster than he expected.. He was used to his pocket knife, having to press down hard. It was flowing fast.  
It was too deep.  
_Oh shit._  
It was too deep.  
The blade plinked onto the hardwood as he dropped it.  
He let his arms drop back to his sides. This was a mistake..  
He wondered how Cas was doing with his mom. No-one should have to go through rejection by the people he loves the most. His dad- James seemed cool with it. That was good. Yeah, that was really good..

~

 

"Look, I said it's okay," Cas grumbled, burying his face into his book. His father was making a solid attempt to cheer Cas up.

"I just need you to know that it's not always going to be like this," James continued, "Your mother grew up in a very sheltered environment. Things were different back then."

"Dad," Cas dropped his book into his lap, "Please get out. I don't give a crap any more about mom's view on this." Cas glanced at his father's defeated expression. He sighed, shifting in his bed. "If she has a problem with it, it's hers to deal with on her own. It's not your fault, and it isn't mine."

"Well, your mother and I both love you so much. If you need anything- If you need to talk, just-"

"-I love you both, too. And thank you for your support, Dad." Cas stepped off of the bed and gave James a one armed hug. 

James slapped him on the back gently with a quick, "Goodnight," before stepping out of the room. 

Cas closed the door behind him and climbed back into his bed. It was getting late. He wondered where Dean was. It wasn't like him to skip out on his word like this.  
He could have at least borrowed his brother's phone to make a call.  
He cleared his throat, finding where he left off in his book.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam heard his dad walk into Dean's room and start yelling. He sighed and slid headphones over his ears. He was getting really tired of this. The fights were happening more frequently. And he noticed they weren't just yelling anymore.. He had to step in a few times over the past month to keep John from going too far.  
He pulled out a book and started to read, allowing himself to get lost in the story. He was almost at the end of the book when he began to think about his family again. He sighed and rested his book on his lap and took off his headphones. It was quiet out there once more.  
He moved his book aside and opened his door. He really didn't want to lose contact with Dean.  
Even though they were different, Dean was still his brother. His only other family beside his father. He was starting to like John less and less as he got older.

He stepped into Dean's doorway, flicking on the light, "Hey, can I-" Sam's heart dropped into his stomach. Dean was slumped up against the wall. He had blood all over his arms and the floor.  
If he wasn't shaking, Sam would have thought he was dead. He was so pale.  
He stared as the image seared into his brain, shocked before making a move toward his brother. 

He grabbed a couple of Dean's shirts and wrapped them around his arms tightly, "Dean?" he folded Dean's arms to his chest, "Hey," he tapped Dean's face with the back of his hand. Dean flinched and shook his head slowly. 

Sam stood, running his shaken fingers through his hair, wondering what the hell to do. The hospital would take him away, or Dean probably get arrested- he couldn't call them.. There was no way he was telling his dad.. He flipped out his phone and dialled the number Cas gave him.

"Hello?"

"Cas?"

the phone made a muffled noise, "..Sam?"

"Yeah, hey, I need your help, uh, I need you to come over."

Cas sighed through the line, "I can't.. It's like I've been placed under house arrest, my mom-"

Sam shook his head, forgetting that Cas couldn't see him, "Dean's taken something, he won't stop shaking and he's hurt himself bad.. I can't call anyone else. I don't know what to do. I need you to come over."

There was a drawn out silence, with just the buzz of the line, "Cas, I need you to come over," Sam repeated urgently.

Cas clutched his phone tightly, "Okay," he choked.  
He pulled on his shoes, climbed out his window and jumped to the ground. Pain ran up his ankles, but he sprung up into a sprint and tore blindly down the path toward Dean's place, half tripping over his feet with every step.

He held his sleeve to his mouth as he ran. The air burned in his lungs. There were whimpers in his breaths. He can't lose Dean like this. It's too much. It's his fault. If he didn't come to this fucking town in the first place, Dean wouldn't have met him.. They wouldn't have ever met..- Cas clutched at his chest.  
He made it.  
He had no time to steady his breathing. He jogged past the side of the house and slipped through the door.

Sam glanced at the door, "Cas," he shuffled backwards, revealing Dean's slumped body.

Cas' mouth dropped. His eyes shifted to his room. Everything was turned upside down, "what happened?" he scrambled into the room, dropping to his knees in front of Dean, "What happened to you?"

"John knows about you. He lost the plot." Sam held his hands up at Cas, assessing his guilt ridden reaction, "But it's not your fault, like at all.." he looked toward Dean, "Our dad's just a bastard." he mumbled.

Cas broke down at Dean's tear stained face. He looked so hurt. This shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't have moved here. This was so wrong. He held the back of his hand to Dean's forehead, dropping it just as fast as he had placed it. Idiot. He was running ice cold, there was no way of checking Dean's temperature like that.

"He took something," Sam caught Cas' attention as he gestured to Dean's injured arms, "he also cut himself pretty bad, he might need stitches."

"Go get some water." Cas ordered. Sam rose to his feet and left the room. Cas cupped the side of Dean's face, "Dean, I'm here, can you hear me?"

"Mmh," Dean's eyes rolled in his head, attempting to focus on Cas' face, "hey, baby," his voice was dry and gravelly.

"Dean, what did you take?"

Dean turned his head, "I'm sorry." he held his hand to his face, "He was a fucking asshole." he choked on a sob, "look at m' room,"

"Hey," Cas held his face in his hands, hushing him. His glassy eyes rolled around in his head. "What drug did you take?"

Dean sniffed and closed his eyes, trying to focus, "I don't r'mmber..,"

Cas threw his arms up in defeat, "That helps a lot,"

Sam came back with a glass of water. He handed it to Cas, "Hey, Dean, how are you feeling?"

Dean shook his head, his lip was trembling.

Cas held the glass to Dean's lips, "Drink this." Dean complied, taking short sips. Cas put the glass in Dean's hand, "Can you hold it?" Dean held the glass and continued to drink the water. "Sam, I need your help with the bed. He's not going to come down from this for a while, so we need to get him comfortable. And warm."

They kicked the stuff on the floor out of the way and got Dean's bed back into its usual spot. Sam got it ready for him whilst Cas took the glass out of Dean's hand, resting it on the floor next to them.  
"We're going to move you now, okay?"  
Cas held his hand and pulled his arm over his body. Sam walked around them and took a hold of Dean's bicep on the other side, "okay," They pulled him up to his feet and walked him into the bed.

The room spun around. Dean lurched in their arms and swallowed down bile. He held his hand over his stomach as he was guided down onto his pillow.

Cas glanced at Sam, "What do you think?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "I think this shouldn't have happened in the first place."

"I'm sorry," 

Sam pulled him into a one armed hug, patting him on the back. Cas wrapped his arms around his lanky body, biting at his lip in an attempt to control his emotions. Dean still needed him. He released Sam and walked around to inspect one of Dean's arms. He unfolded the shirt, revealing two deep wide lines running up his arm. Once uncovered, they started to ooze once more. He gasped and covered it again, holding Dean's arms tightly in his hands.  
He was silent for a moment.  
"We need tape, and disinfectant. And something to stop the bleeding like a gauze or a bandage," Cas turned toward Sam, "Sam,"

"Shit, I'll be back in a minute," Sam muttered, leaving the room.

"Hey," Cas turned his head toward Dean's voice, "I'm sorry.." Dean started, "I'm sorry I did this.. I need you to do something for me," Dean flexed his forearm under Cas' grip, "You should take it. Throw it away. I need you to throw that bag away, Cas," Dean's eyes rolled again, "just take it to yours. I don't want to see it anymore.. I don't want to see him anymore."

"See who?" Cas asked gently,

"Balthazar, I can't see him anymore. I've got you, so I don't need him. I don't want him," Dean arched in his bed in an attempt to get comfortable, "he scares me,"

Cas narrowed his eyes and turned back to the door, listening for noise. He wouldn't need to throw it away, if Dean had never got into it.. He didn't want to be angry at Dean while he was like this. He took a deep breath and sat on the side of the bed, relaxing his hands off of his boyfriend. Dean reached down and found his hand, tangling their fingers together. Cas squeezed his hand gently.

A few minutes later, Sam returned with an armful of things. Cas set to work, cleaning the cuts. Dean clenched his teeth, hissing at the disinfectant running over his arm. Sam pulled out some medical tape and pressed the skin back together, sticking the tape over it, before putting a dressing on it. They repeated their actions with the other arm.  
"There, that should hold it.." Cas straightened up, "I'll change it for you in a couple of days."

"Uhuh," Dean closed his eyes and shuffled down into his bed.

Sam leant against the door frame, "What are you going to do, Cas?"

Cas looked at Dean who was already almost asleep, "I think I'll stay for a little while, just to make sure.. If that's okay."

"Yeah! Yeah. Uh, just keep an ear out for noise, okay? I don't know what'd happen if John saw you here after today."

"thanks for calling me."

"Thanks for coming, Cas.." Sam smiled, tapping his fingers lightly on the door frame as he turned and disappeared up the hall.

Cas smoothed his thumb over Dean's hand, watching him snore softly. He felt that this whole thing was ultimately his fault. He wiped his nose with his sleeve and looked over Dean's room. He noticed the little black bag sitting menacingly in the corner of the mess. He frowned and picked it up, sitting back on the bed. Where did Dean even get the stuff? Who was this Balthazar that he hung around with before he met him?

He shook the image scenarios out of his head and stood again, leaving the bag at the foot of the bed. He sat on the floor and started collecting the cassette tape covers out of the broken plastic cases.  
He'd just finished, when he heard footsteps. He grabbed the bag from the bed and slid underneath it stealthily. John's feet appeared by the door, walking in a little way. He scoffed at his son's sleeping body, turned off the light and started back up the hallway. Cas breathed a sigh of relief when he heard another door close. He decided it was also his cue to leave. He crawled out from under the bed and stuffed the papers into his pocket.  
He brushed Dean's hair away from his forehead and kissed it softly. He slung the bag over his shoulder and slipped out the back door, headed for home. But first, detouring to the back of the corner store to drop the bag in the hopper.

He got to the back of his house and looked up at the roof that ledged his window.. How the fuck does Dean climb this? He shook his head in confusion and dismissed the idea of even trying. He slid open the back door, closing and locking it behind himself silently. He strode to the bottom of the stairs, stopping because the dim kitchen light caught his eye. He stepped toward it to turn it off, stopping at the movement at the dining table. His dad stood from it slowly.

"Damnit.." Cas dropped his guarded arms to his sides. "Hey, dad.."

"Castiel," he stepped around the table, walking toward him intently, "Where have you been, no note, nothing.."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"You need to talk to us, it's what we're here for, do you understand?"

Cas shook his head. He was tired. The last thing he wanted to deal with tonight was his parents' homosexual son problem. Cas folded his arms.

"She'll come around, don't worry. Now, where were you? You're lucky I got sent in to check up on you, or she would have gone on a rampage, looking. She really cares about you, you don't know how much she loves you."

"I had to go to Dean's," Cas spoke faster, watching his dad's mouth open in disapproval, "his dad found out about me somehow, and I had to see if everything is okay."

"And is it?"

Cas paused, surprised by the question, "It is now, I guess.."

"Alright, off to bed, then.. School night, Cas."

Cas raised his eyebrow at how un-phased his dad was about this whole thing. It was too good to be true. He stepped lightly up the stairs, wary of all the noise his feet were making. He closed his door and stripped his clothes off. Shower before bed.. He glanced at his clock, it was way too late for a shower, but he needed to wash the day off of him. It had been a hell of a long day.

~

 

Cas hummed along to the tape playing on his walkman as he carried a paper bag in one hand and a few wooden boards under his other arm. He was on his way to Dean's house. He'd just finished the first day at school he'd attended since the fight with Dirk. There had been no problems, no one had spoken to him at all; even the teachers didn't ask him questions. Apart from several stares, he guessed it was because his face was still bruised, he flew completely under the radar.  
"Blue skies from pain," he stepped up the gutter, onto the path. He couldn't wait to surprise Dean with his gifts. He hoped he was well enough to appreciate them fully. He walked through the side of Dean's house and into the back door.  
He pulled his headphones down to his neck so he could listen to see if the coast was clear.  
The wood clanked together as he misjudged the wall space as he turned into Dean's room. Dean's head turned toward the obnoxious noise. Sam was with him. He walked straight back after school to check on how his brother was feeling after last night. Dean was dressed, propped up on his pillow with crossed arms and a cigarette hanging out the side of his lip. Cas felt as though he interrupted a deep, heated conversation, "Sorry,"

Sam stood from the end of the bed and made room for Castiel's stuff, "Hey, Cas, whatcha got?"

"Well," Cas walked to the end of Dean's bed, setting down the wood at his feet, "I thought Dean could use the wood to build some stuff.. And here," he crawled onto the bed and held the paper bag out to Dean, pinching the side of it, so that Dean could grab at the twine handles.

Dean rested the bag on his lap and peered inside, "Oh-" the ash on the tip of his cigarette fell as his lips curled, tumbling down his shoulder. His eyes rounded in surprise, pulling out a tape, "You replaced my tapes..?"

"Mhm," Cas grinned at his reaction, biting at his finger, "And I got you some more, some you didn't have before."

Dean dropped the bag beside him and pulled Cas into his chest, "thank you so much.." Castiel's arms were pinned at his sides underneath Dean's.

He smiled into Dean's chest, "you're welcome,"

"Ah.." he let Cas go and leant back, rubbing at the side of his head in frustration, "my dad still has my player."

"Oh, that's okay." Cas pulled his headphones off and handed Dean his walkman.

"No, Cas, this is yours." Dean held it back to him but Cas backed away from it,

"I've got another, you can have that one. I'll buy you some more batteries tomorrow, too."

Dean flicked his smoke at the wall and opened the walkman case, "Pink Floyd, huh?"

Cas laughed nervously, "Yeah, one of my favorites."  
Dean pursed his lips and nodded in approval.  
"How are you feeling, anyway, Dean?"

Dean scoffed, "feels like I've got ten hangovers,"

Cas traced his fingers along a dull pink line across Dean's face, "what happened there?"

Dean sighed and glanced at Sam as he stood from the bed slowly. "I didn't want either of you to see it." He faced the door and lifted his shirt up to his shoulders, revealing the dark bruised lines on his back.

"Oh my god, Dean.." Cas' throat felt tight. He couldn't break his eyes away from the bruises. Some of them even broke the skin. 

"My father belted me," Dean admitted softly, "he said he wanted to make my ass unattractive, but half the time the old bastard missed my ass," Dean sneered. Cas was still staring at Dean's shirt that had come back down over the marks, before he blinked himself out of it.

"Woah, that's worse than I thought." Sam piped up from the corner of the room, causing Cas glance behind him, forgetting that Sam was even standing there.

"Yeah, well.." Dean wobbled as he slid back into bed, holding a hand over his tender stomach.

"I'd love to stay longer," Cas whispered before clearing his throat, "but I told my parents I would be home straight away.. I kinda blew that,"

Dean took a hold of Castiel's hand in both of his, "Thank you so much.. For everything, Cas. I don't deserve you."

"No, you don't deserve this," Cas ranted, holding his hand out at the room, "You don't deserve any form of abuse, Dean. It's fucked-"

Dean lowered his head, "It can't be helped right now-"

"-It should have been helped when your dad even thought about raising his hand." Cas balled his shaking hands into fists. He focused on Dean's concerned face before he muted his emotions, "I'm sorry."

Dean smiled softly at him, "hey," he pulled Cas into a kiss, "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Dean, I-" Cas started,

"-Look, I'm hearing you, alright?" Dean interrupted, holding Cas around the waist, "I know what you mean, and I know what you want to change. But sometimes it just isn't that simple," Dean opened his mouth and raised his eyebrows, extinguishing Castiel's comeback, "Right now I'm okay, okay? And we will get out of here."

"..Okay."

~

 

Castiel zipped up his hoodie and folded his arms across his chest. The walk home was more draining than usual. He'd been so worked up lately, and to have Dean looking better than yesterday, despite his back, was a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. But he had to get out of there..  
He closed his gate behind himself and continued up the path toward his back door.  
A cat jumped from behind one of the bins next to him and took off down the path. Cas yelled in surprise, stepping backwards a little too far.

A strangled cry wrestled its way up as he fell. He knew what was coming.

Cold water engulfed his body. Cas waved his arms, pulling himself to the surface of their pool. "Are you-, fucking-, kidding me-," He gasped as his body rattled in protest to the temperature drop. 

He sopped into the house, slamming the sliding door closed behind himself.

"Castiel?" Amelia gasped,

" _Why the fuck do we have a fucking pool_ ," Cas' teeth clacked together, " _Why the_ fuck!" he stomped up the stairs leaving a water trail behind himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Everything was almost back to the way it was.. Cas kind of forgot what was 'normal' here.. Dean was coming back to school in a couple of days, which meant that Cas would get to spend more time with him. He was excited, and he kind of missed talking to somebody while he was there. Being ignored by almost everyone was becoming a bit of a drag.

Dean doubled over in a fit of laughter as Cas told him about falling into the pool the other day, "Dude," Dean sobered up, "I think you have vertigo."

One thing he wasn't looking forward to.. His gut tightened at the thought of it. Dean tilted his head up to look at Cas' pensive stare, "You okay? Do you actually have vertigo?"

Cas shook his head vaguely, "I'm okay. I just overheard something at school today, that's all."

Dean set down the wood he was carving on the bed and propped himself up on his elbow to look at him better, "What is it?"

Cas smiled and shook his head, "Dirk got released from hospital yesterday, and they said he's going to be there tomorrow," he realised that he was worried over nothing- because nothing would happen. Not after what Dean did to him. Dirk wouldn't touch him again, it'd be stupid.  
Cas caught sight of Dean's wolfish grin out the corner of his eye. He suppressed his own smile, "What,"

Dean continued to carve the statue, "I can send him back in, if you're worried,"

Cas frowned and slapped Dean's shoulder, "Don't even joke about it, you'd probably go to prison the next time.." Cas suddenly remembered the bag, "Hey, I need to ask you something.. Something that you probably don't want to talk about?"

"Yeah, I owe you a few explanations," Dean chuckled, "Go ahead,"

"Well, there was a lot of stuff in that bag. Was it all yours?"

"Yeah.." he scrunched his nose, "it's hard to explain.. I sell for a guy.. I needed the money, so he took me in. But I'm going to hand it back, because we're fine with the cash now. Dad's business has picked up again, so.." Dean paused, re-assessing the question, "Wait, when did you go through it?"

"When I threw it away, I was just trying to work out what you took, and-"

"The bag? You threw it away?!" Dean dropped the wood carving that he was holding, trying to process what had happened,

"Uh," Cas blinked in confusion, "You told me you were done with 'Balthazar', you told me to throw the bag away,"

"When I wasn't thinking straight! And you know about him? Oh my god." Dean stood from the bed and started pacing, balling his fists, "Do you know how much money that's worth?"

"Are you fucking serious?" Cas retorted, hauling himself off of the bed and walking toward the door, "If you haven't noticed, I got here _after_ your little fling.

"Do I look like I'm joking, dude? You need to help me come up with that cash, Cas. You can't just throw it away and bail,"

"You shouldn't even have them in the first place, and I'm glad you don't anymore. I'm so over this shit, Dean," Cas fumbled at the door handle.

"No fucking way! You can't leave me with this, it's too much!" Dean exploded as he picked up his bedside lamp and threw it across the room at his boyfriend, flinching in regret as the bulb smashed against his head, " _Oh, shit-_ Sorry,"

After a beat of Cas assessing the side of his face, he stood from his cower, facing Dean once more, "Sorry?!" Cas screamed, "You just threw a lamp at my fucking face!" he ran at Dean and pushed him up against the wall as hard as he could, "You overdosed and tried to kill yourself, of course I'm throwing the cause in the fucking trash!" Cas pulled away as Dean's face softened, holding his hand out to assess Cas' forehead, "Don't." Cas slapped Dean's hand away, "I'm out,"

"You're bleeding," Dean grunted, walking toward him again, "Just let me see if there's glass in it,"

Cas turned on his heel, "Don't fucking patronise me, you ass!" Cas pushed him again, "I did what was right. Now I'm out."

Dean grabbed Cas' wrist and yanked him away from the door handle, causing him to yelp in pain, "Just fucking wait a second, I gotta think."

"Ah, Dean-," Cas' hand came down on his, attempting to lift Dean's fingers,

"God, Balthazar's going to be pissed."

"Dean, you're hurting me,"

Dean stalked over to his jacket, jerking Cas along with him. He reached into the pocket with his free hand and sparked up a cigarette, blowing it out in a sharp breath. Balthazar wasn't going to take this news kindly. It was a business, and he screwed him over. "How the fuck do I get out, now?"

Cas was pulling at his hand, "fuck you, let me go. Your arms are bleeding, you've fucking popped the tape,"

Dean took another drag, his eyes shooting daggers at Cas, this isn't going to go down well at all.. Worst case, he gets his ass beaten and Balthazar keeps hold of him until he pays his debt. Best case, he avoids him until they find him..

"I made a mistake, okay?" Cas' voice was trembling, "Just let me go and I'll fix it- I'll fix all of your fucking problems. I'll go see if it's still out there, ah-"

Dean pulled Castiel in front of him, grabbing at his other wrist and pinning him against the wall with a thud, "Do you ever shut up?" he growled, holding his cigarette in-between his teeth,

Cas closed his eyes, shivering as Dean's smokey breath trailed over his face, "Fuck you."

Dean spat the cigarette out of his mouth and started biting and sucking at his neck hard, pressing his weight against him.  
Cas opened his mouth, gasping at the sudden attention.  
Dean finally released his wrists. Unable to keep his hands off of Cas' body, he slid his hands up Cas' shirt and clawed down his torso. "Fuck _you_."

Cas relaxed slowly, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck, kneading the ache in his wrists away with his thumbs as he pulled him into a kiss. Their tongues tangled together, both of them breathing heavily into each other's mouths.

Dean pulled Cas from the wall and backed him onto his bed, "Just don't leave yet," he slid his arm under Cas' back, pulling him as close to himself as possible. He kissed at Cas' jaw, "I wanna fuck you," he breathed into his ear.  
Cas nodded against his cheek, fingers frantically pulling at their clothes.  
Dean got one of Cas' legs free, leaving the rest wrapped around his other foot for Cas to kick off. The rough fibres of the blanket underneath them scratched against Cas' skin. Dean opened his drawer, opening and squeezing some lube into his hand. He slicked up his cock and ran his fingers over his boyfriend's ass, leaning in to kiss him again. He had one hand on the mattress next to Cas' head, the other was guiding his cock over Cas' entrance. Cas opened his legs to either side of Dean's hips and dug his fingers into Dean's hips, urging him in inch by inch.

"Ah," Cas' breath hitched. Dean was not small. He squeezed his eyes closed and clenched his jaw at the stretch. It was such a good pain. Dean slid all the way in, resting against Cas, feeling his muscles adjust to the intrusion. He was so close already. Cas wrapped a leg around the small of Dean's back and rolled his hips in to meet Dean's thrusts. His fingers clawed down Dean's back pulling him in close. Dean held his breath as the pain from the bruises on his back tried to overthrow his feeling of pleasure.

Cas gasped, realising what he had done. He released Dean's back and braced his hands on Dean's chest instead. They rocked into each other slowly, building up a rhythm.  
Dean pushed Cas' legs back further, thrusting in deeper.  
"Oh, god.." Cas gripped onto the pillow under his head, "ah, fuck, Dean, there-" he arched his body, coming against their stomachs. Dean felt the muscles in Cas' ass clench around his cock, He buried his face into the nook of Cas' neck, moaning loudly, releasing deep inside him.  
He rolled his hips to a stop, still making incoherent noise into Castiel's neck. Cas traced his fingers lightly down his sides, sighing as he pulled out. Dean was resting half on top of him, trying to catch his breath.

Cas held the side of Dean's cheek and scanned over his face. Dean's eyes were half closed. His freckles were glistening from his sweat. He was gorgeous.. And he was dangerous.  
Cas slid out from underneath him and cleaned himself up with a tissue. "Dean, did you wear a condom?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you wear a condom?"

"Oh. No, I forgot."

"Oh." he grabbed his jeans off of the bed and slid them on. 

"Hey.." he ignored Dean, continuing his dressing. "Cas," he bent down to put on a sneaker, when Dean's arms locked around his stomach, pulling him into his lap.

Cas dropped his sneaker and sighed, letting his head fall backwards onto Dean's shoulder in defeat, "What is it, Dean.."

"Are you okay?"

"M-fine." Cas mumbled. He wasn't fine at all. He needed to get the hell out of there.

"I'm sorry I freaked out, I just forgot what I said the other night. I'll work it out. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me," Cas scoffed, prying away Dean's arms from his waist, "I need to go." he slipped on his sneakers, not bothering to tie the laces, "Get Sam to fix your arms. I'll see you later."

Dean stood and pulled his jeans on, "I'll walk you home-"

"No. I'll see you later," Cas pulled his hoodie over his head and started out the door. He heard Dean say something as he left, but he didn't listen, he just threw his hand out behind himself and waved. He really couldn't stay. It was just one thing after another. He couldn't catch a break anymore. He just kept on fucking things up for them. Cas' sight blurred. He rubbed at his eyes angrily, trying to keep sight of the path in front of him. He was going to destroy what they had for sure. He couldn't have that.. Not after-  
In his fluster, he forgot his sneakers were untied. He stepped on his lace and unable to correct himself, he fell to the ground hard.  
He could feel the burn of scraped knees under his jeans and his palms were tingling. He hesitantly brushed his hands together, getting the gravel and sticks off of them.  
He held his breath in intervals, trying to keep himself together. He was trying so hard that he didn't hear Dean walking up the path behind him.

Dean put his hand on Cas' shoulder, causing his boyfriend to flinch away with the sudden awareness that he wasn't alone anymore.

Dean crouched in front of him and started to tie his laces. "Man, you really are clumsy, you know?"

Cas choked out an embarrassed laugh and wiped his face with the back of his sleeve.  
Dean finished tying his shoes. He studied Cas' face for a while, going over his features, memorising each one as if he was never going to see him again. He'd thought it a million times over.. But Cas really was beautiful. His eyes were such a deep blue, so vibrant against the glassy red behind them. His lips were parted, he was breathing through his mouth because his nose was blocked up.  
As if he read Dean's observations, Cas sniffed to get his nose clear again. He rested the back of his hand against Dean's face, smiling when Dean closed his eyes at the touch.

"Are we okay?" Dean asked, opening his eyes slowly

Cas shook his head, "I keep fucking up. Every time I fix something, I break something else. You don't want to be around someone like that, Dean, I-"

Dean rolled his eyes and clamped his hand over Castiel's mouth, "Yeah, I just threw a lamp at your head, man handled you, and had non verbal consent first time unprotected sex with you. I think I'm winning in the shitty boyfriend competition here." he dropped his hand and stared into Cas' eyes hard, "I want to be with you, do you want to be with me?"

Cas didn't hesitate his reply, "Of course I do, I-"

"Well, are we okay then?" Dean repeated anxiously,

"..Yeah, I guess we're okay," Cas played with the draw string of his hoodie, focusing on it intently, "Can you come back with me for a while?" his voice hitched as he started to cry again.

Dean pulled him sideways into his chest, "Of course I can," he kissed into Cas' hair and wrapped his arms around him, "I've got you. And I don't want to rush you, but we should go if we're going. It's freezing out here."

Cas only just realised Dean had no jacket on, "Oh, shit, I'm sorry," Cas stood and started to take his hoodie off, "I'm not too cold, so here," he handed it to Dean, who would have objected if he wasn't vibrating with shivers. 

The warmth of Cas' body was still in it, warming him up fast. It smelled like him, too. Dean folded his arms and lowered his head, taking in the scent completely.  
He lifted his head to see Cas grinning at him. His contagious smile had Dean smirking back, the tips of his ears turning a light red, "let's get outta here before we have to swap again,"

Dean held out his pinky finger and Cas linked his around, appreciating Dean remembering his grazed palms.

They walked through Cas' gate and into the house. Cas was greeted by his parents, though his mom abruptly walked back to the kitchen to prepare dinner when she locked eyes with Dean. Dean lowered his head. The last thing he wanted was to cause Cas' family problems.

"Castiel, what happened?" James leaned down, staring at the side of Cas' forehead, "Are you alright?"

"I fell again," Cas shrugged, "I'll clean up, okay?"

"Please be more careful- It looks really bad, Castiel."

"Dad, can Dean stay for dinner?" Dean widened his eyes and tilted his head sideways at Cas, was he crazy? His mom hated him, and his dad tolerated him at best. They weren't exactly the Bradys.

"Sure, I'll grab another steak," James smiled politely, walking off toward the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Dean hissed, "I thought you meant just chill out in your room or somethin'," he bit his lip, glancing around Cas' house, "What if they poison my food?"

Cas sighed, closing his eyes in frustration, "Dean,"

Dean chuckled and pulled him into a hug, "I'm sorry," he kissed at his neck, "It's going to be a great meal.. Steak." he sucked the drool back into his mouth.

Cas snorted and turned for the stairs, "come on, we'll get cleaned up."

They took their shoes off and set them at the door of Cas' room, "Do you want a shower? You can wear some of my clothes after if you want, I have a few things that you'd like."

"Uh yeah, sure." Dean took off Cas' hoodie and laid it out on the bed, "Thanks, Cas"

"Uhuh," Cas started undressing, passing the time as the pipes filled with hot water. He stepped in, hissing as the water touched his fresh grazes. He started washing his hair, leaning forward under the water. A dull blood color swirled at his feet. He hummed softly as Dean's hands wrapped around his torso. There was no better feeling in the world than being touched by Dean.  
He turned to face him, smiling at their discolored skin sliding together.  
Catching on, Dean smoothed his fingers over a bruise mark on Castiel's hand. They stood for a long time in silence, listening to the water bounce off of their backs and down the drain. In that moment, nothing else existed outside of the bathroom. This was it. And they were satisfied with their piece. Clumsy and broken. Torn and frayed.

A thudding on the door tensed Dean up, knocking him completely out of his head space, "Castiel, dinner's ready!" James called from the hallway.

"Fucking hell," Cas groaned under his breath. He shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, pressing his face into a towel. Without lifting his head, he blindly reached for another one and handed it to Dean. They dried themselves in silence, the long day hitting them hard.

Cas set some fresh clothes out for both of them, taking note on Dean's usual preferences. Dean slid the shirt over his head, "thanks again, Cas."

"It's fine, really," Cas called from the bathroom. Dean glanced up as Cas walked around the corner, sticking the final bits of plaster to his face.

"I'll never do that again, I swear."

"What, throw a lamp at me?" Cas forced a smile as he pressed his hand over a tender part, 

"Hurt you at all," Dean shook his head, eyeing the plaster strips that Cas carried over to him, "I'll even try not to yell at you when you're pissing me off."

Cas stopped and raised his eyebrows, "I piss you off?" 

"Ugh, when we fight, I-" 

"-I know, Dean. I was picking on you.." Cas started to patch up Dean's arms once more, "If you hurt me, or throw anything at me again, I'm gone, okay? I know it, you know it. Let's just move on from this, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm not my father." Dean clenched his teeth at the sting of his arm.

"You're not him." Cas affirmed as he placed the last plaster, "Now let's go get some food." He held the door open for Dean after he got his jeans on, "just be yourself, okay?" He could tell Dean was nervous with the way his usually steady hands were fumbling on his clothes.

"Yeah, I don't do parents," he chuckled nervously, "yours are the exception."

A formal set dinner was waiting for them when they reached the bottom of the stairs. Napkins and silver. Even in Castiel's clothes, Dean felt horribly out of place. He let Cas step past him and take the lead, sitting down next to him at the table.

The dinner presentation was perfect. Cas' father placed the plates of food in front of them, winking at Dean.

"Thanks for this, it looks great, James," Dean picked up his fork, smiling back at him.

"It's a pleasure, Dean. Hook in, boys." James returned to the kitchen to grab his meal, before returning to the table with Cas' mom trailing behind him.

James spoke up in-between chews, "I wasn't sure what you liked, Dean, so I served up a standard helping."

"Mmh," Dean held the back of his hand over his mouth to stop the food spitting out, "It's all great, thanks again, James."

James clicked his tongue in approval and continued to eat.

"Hey Dad," Cas eyed his mother's glances from the corner of his eye, "can Dean stay the night?"

Cas' mom slapped her palm on the table, "No!"

"Amelia.." James muttered,

"No!" she repeated, "James, I'm not having that person," she waved her hand, gesturing toward Dean, "sleeping with our son- not if I can help it. It's wrong- It's bad enough he shows up unannounced, expecting food!"

"I didn't mean-" Dean tried to defend himself, failing at being heard on account of everyone yelling at once. Dean ran his tongue over his bottom teeth and shook his head.

Cas stood from the table, holding his arm in front of Dean protectively, "Don't be such a bitch about it, just because I'm not living how you planned, mom. And for your information, we've already fucked today, so you're out of luck-"

"-Please," James spoke louder,

"Castiel! You are not the same boy you were before we moved here, this Dean is poison, he's ruining you!" Amelia was now standing at the table,

Adrenaline started pumping through Dean. He bowed his head and stared at his shaking hands, "I should get outta here," he pushed away from the table and stood up,

"Dean," Cas reached for his arm, pulling back at the last second,

"Yes, please!-"Amelia started for the front door,

"Enough of this!" James cut Amelia off, "Dean, I am so sorry for my wife's outbursts," he looked toward Cas, "Castiel, take him upstairs now, please."

Cas handed Dean his plate of food, grabbed at his other wrist and walked him up the stairs.

James turned back to Amelia, lowering his voice, "You're right, you know. He's not the same as he was since we've moved here. In fact, I have never seen him more himself, more comfortable," he placed his hands on her shoulders, "please don't destroy our son's happiness, just because it is out of your comfort zone. Give Dean the chance he deserves." He turned and sat at the table, continuing his meal.

~ 

Cas stopped by the upstairs fireplace, curling his leg around himself as he sat down on the carpet with his meal. Dean crossed his legs and held his plate in his lap, "I like it better up here," Dean smiled softly, staring into the flames,

Cas glanced up at Dean, watching the fire dance in his eyes, "I'm sorry that you had to hear that,"

Dean flicked his head to the side in agreement, "I have that impact on people,"

Cas rolled his eyes and shovelled more food into his mouth.

"We should look at the hopper, soon," Dean blurted, "We gotta find it and hand it in- before it's gone forever,"

Cas narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "would you give it back, though?"

Dean bit into his mashed potato and salad, "What do you mean by that, Cas? Of course I'd hand it in,"

"I mean, you seemed pretty dependent on them before. And now they're not here, you want to just go out and get them at-" Cas glanced across at the clock on the wall, '9:34pm. I'm just a little hesitant, that's all,"

Dean swallowed his food and flashed Cas a frustrated smile, "I want to get it back, because we're talking around 3 thousand dollars worth of stuff in that bag, do you understand?" Dean sat his plate down on the carpet next to him,

"That money isn't mine, but I'm responsible for it. I'm not sure what happens to people that lose-," Dean glanced around the room and hissed into Cas' ear, "-3k worth of fucking drugs."

Cas stood from the carpet and held his hands out to the fire, "when do you want to go?"

~

 

Dean unlinked his arm with Cas as they walked through the car park of the local store, "Is it this one?"

Cas fell behind, eyeing the three hoppers, "I think it was the middle one,"

Dean stood on the bar and opened the lid, peering in, "Well, it can't be this one, it's empty,"

Cas' gut twisted. It'd been a while since he threw it.. But he didn't think it'd been that long- surely not long enough for it to be emptied yet,

Dean opened the one on the right and jumped in with a grunt. Cas held onto the side and peered in. Dean was moving boxes and rubbish around, "check the left, Cas,"

"yes," Cas stepped down from the side of the hopper and opened the left one. It was empty.

"How is it?" Dean spoke up after a minute,

Cas swallowed the lump in his throat, "empty,"

"-fuck!" Dean kicked at the inside of the hopper, causing a loud echo through the empty lot, "fuck, fuck,"

"..Who was Balthazar to you, Dean?"

"Not now, Cas."

"I think I should know who I'm going to give a sum of money to." he peered over the edge of the hopper glaring down at his boyfriend, "Who was Balthazar to you?"

"He is an ex, okay?" Dean kicked at some trash, "Is that what you want to know?"

"Why are you so strange about him?" Cas shook his head, attempting to rephrase, "Why are you so afraid of him?"

"-Because he's a dealer, Cas," Dean snapped, "just trust me, okay?"

Cas closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples, wracking his brain for a solution- "I'll get money off of my parents, okay?" Cas yelled over Dean's banging, "It was my fault, I'll pay for it, alright?" Cas gripped onto the side of the hopper, peering down at Dean's bleeding knuckles that he was inspecting, "Dean," Cas exhaled, "I'll pay for it,"

Dean shrugged his shoulders exhaling the rest of his anger away, "I don't know yet,"

Cas gripped on to Dean's jacket tightly and raised him out of the hopper, "I've got it, okay?"

Dean linked his finger with Cas' as they stepped off of the bar, "I'll talk to them first, and we'll go from there, I guess,"

Cas nodded and kissed at Dean's jaw, "I will fix this, I promise."

"I know," Dean huffed, pulling Cas into his side as they walked, "You're right, though.. I'm scared."

They walked in through the back door of Cas' house and up the stairs to Cas' room. He pulled Dean into a hug and took a deep breath in, kissing at his chest.  
Dean felt Cas stiffen up under his arms, "Hmm?"

Cas pulled away, covering his mouth to suppress a gag.

Dean raised an eyebrow as Cas continued to hold down puke, "what?"

"You-" _gag,_ "you were in a-" _gag,_ "hopper," _gag,_

Dean smiled mischievously, leaning into Cas' ear, "and you haven't washed your hands yet,"

His eyes welled as he dropped his hands from his mouth. Dean watched on as his cheeks extended, filling up with vomit.

He grabbed Cas' shoulders and ran him to his bathroom.

" _help me-_ ," Cas gasped between pukes, "I need a shower- I need to get this off," he tugged at his clothes,

Dean stood behind him and unbuckled his belt, sliding his jeans off. He grabbed Cas' shirt and slid it up his head at the exact same moment Cas started vomiting again.

"oh-, dear god,-" Dean held the shirt, cringing at his boyfriend's mortified squeals, "hang on-" Dean lifted it over his head, holding his breath as Castiel's puke covered face emerged from underneath. Dean dropped the shirt on the shower floor with a wet flap and started running the shower. 

"I fucking hate you," Cas puked.

Dean held under his arm to keep him steady as he stepped into the shower. Cas straight away sat on the floor of it, wiping madly at his face and neck, gasping under the hot water.

Dean started undressing, when he heard a knock on the door,

Dean opened the door to James, who was holding Cas and his dinner plates. Dean maintained a straight face as his eyes darted from the origami napkin dicks that they left on the plate, back to Cas' father. "Dean, is everything alright?" James stood at the door in his pajamas,

"Uh, yeah-," Dean glanced back into the room, "Cas isn't feeling too good, so I ran him a shower,"

James smiled and nodded at Dean's uneasy stare, "alright," he placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, "have a good night, then,"

"You too, Sir,"

James nudged the door with his foot, "It's James,"

"right. James." Dean smiled, closed the door and joined Cas in the shower, lathering his body with soap and washing his hair, "sorry for wiping your puke in your face,"

Cas breathed out a laugh, "it happens,"

"Does it?"

Cas laughed again, leaning back into Dean's torso. Dean closed his eyes and kissed the back of Cas' head, "I love you,"

"I love you too," Cas stopped himself from kissing Dean, "I gotta brush my teeth,"

Dean took the cue to get to his feet, and find Cas' toothbrush for him. He pulled a towel out and dried himself, leaving Cas to finish showering.

Dean listened to the water still running in the shower. He took the chance to snoop, opening Cas' drawers. He smiled at some old figurines, but it was the manilla folder that caught his attention. He pulled it out from underneath the toys and opened it up, revealing a bunch of paper, in forms of folded letters, to scrunched up scraps. Dean took one and unfolded it, trailing over the hand writing, _"Meet me by our tree after school - A,"_  
Dean picked up another,

_"Castiel,_  
_I miss you, even though you're right here. You're so adorable, chewing on your pencil._  
_I can't wait to take you home with me.._  
_I'm wearing the panties_  
_You know the ones_  
_anyway,_  
_you're looking at me, so I guess you can read this now,_  
_I love you, Cassie"_

_"Cassie,"_ Dean shook his head, pulling out another,

_"You stink, did you shower today?"_  
_"Shut it, Anna,"_  
_"I can't, not for you, not ever,"_  
_"I love you"_  


He eyed the red head in the picture frame next to Cas' bed. "Anna, huh?"  
The water shut off from the bathroom. Dean gathered all of the slips of paper and shoved them back into the folder, sliding it back under the figurines and closing the drawer.  
Cas appeared in the walk way, holding a towel loosely around his hips. Dean allowed his eyes to travel over Cas' body, smiling up at him as he turned around, "Feeling better, Cassie?"

Cas narrowed his eyes, "what?"

"What?" Dean blinked innocently

"It's Cas," he grumbled as he unfolded some boxers and stepped into them, before turning out the light and blindly crawling into bed next to Dean. "And no.."

Dean decided to let it slide. If there was anything Cas felt that he needed to know, he would be told. This previous relationship was something that he didn't need to know about. It was before their time..  
But it still made him jealous as hell.

He traced his fingers over the waistband of Cas' boxers, "you should take these off,"

Cas brushed Dean's hand way, "no, I don't want to clean up, I'm too tired,"

Dean kissed at his ear, flicking his tongue against his lobe before kissing down his neck, "I'll get it,"

Cas rolled his eyes and pulled his boxers down to his ankles, kicking his leg free. Dean got to work, kissing and sucking his way down Cas' chest, licking at his hips, rubbing at his thighs.  
He lifted Cas' leg and crawled underneath it, grazing at his thigh with his teeth. Cas groaned, pressing his hips into Dean's hands, "touch me," he breathed,

"I am touching you," Dean smiled against his thigh as his palms slid dangerously close to his dick, "Can you feel that?"

Cas whimpered as Dean moved his hands along his innermost thigh, "Dean, please,"

Dean grinned as Cas writhed underneath him, desperately seeking attention in all the right places. He took Cas into his mouth, exhaling as Cas pushed his hips forward.  
Cas moaned, tilting his head backwards in bliss.  
Dean subtly spat on his finger and brushed it over Cas' entrance. The brunette jolted in response.

"Hmm?" Dean questioned,

"yes," Cas panted, voice husky with lust, "I want you inside me,"

Dean took Cas in his mouth once more, building up the rhythm he had. His finger slid against Cas' ass, teasing him. Cas moaned louder, pressing his face into a pillow to try to reduce the noise.  
Dean pressed and prodded, sucked, kissed and licked. Before long, he had Cas shaking in his hands.  
He pushed his finger in deeper brushing against Castiel's prostate.  
Cas arched off of the bed, "fuck," he gasped, "fuck, do that, do that again-"  
Dean tightened his lips around Cas' cock, realising the cause of the effect. He pressed his finger in again, holding it in place firmly.  
Cas clutched onto the pillow, groaning loudly as he reached his climax.  
Dean wiped at his mouth as he emerged from under the covers. Cas opened his arms, pulling Dean into his chest. Dean closed his eyes and listened to Cas' heart beat return to normal. His breathing grew heavier as he nodded off, his hand slowly carding through Dean's hair.


End file.
